Mine's bluer, no mine's bluer!
Why is it we always want what someone else has? Some never outgrow this trend. Look at your friend’s marriage. Look good? In reality, you have no idea what it is like to live with that person behind closed doors. Someone has more money than you do? Newsflash: money does NOT guarantee happiness. In fact, it often guarantees a whole host of problems those of us lower on the pay scale have no clue about.
It’s Not Fair!
This often starts out in children as the “it’s not fair” mantra. Children have a finite understanding of what is ‘fair’. If I am 12 and my 16 yo brother has a license and gets to drive the family car and date and stay out later, that is fair. Not many younger siblings understand that though. What about the older sibling who says mom and dad baby the younger child and let him/her get away with more than he or she did?
Stinkin’ thinkin’
Orignal photo via clarita at http://mrg.bz/i1Kq2B (Morguefile.com/)The problem here is one of perception. Just because it looks 'unfair' to you does not make it 'unfair' in reality. I see so many people who live in a world of pain because they are always looking at how unfair life is to them. You can ALWAYS have it worse, so grow a spine and stop whining! Seem harsh? Sometimes that's what people need. If you don't recognize you're thinking is a mess, how can you change it? Change the "think", change the stinkI can also tell you I have seen many lives turned around when the person realized he/she was believing a lie and started believing the truth. Bad things happen; no one is immune. Perception about reality does not make it reality. Instead of looking at what you don't have, look at what you do have: count your blessings!♫Count your blessings, name them one by one♫
Blessing counting changes skewed perspectives
When I talk about my husband’s accident (many years ago now) I could tell you about how hard it was. It was hard. But when I talk about this time in our lives, the hard times are overshadowed by the awesome blessings we encountered throughout that year he was off work. In fact, I tell stories about this often, and you might think it was all fun and roses if you were not there and did not see what we went through. Just like shadows point to the light, dark times often just highlight the good times and make them more precious.
The impact
My husband was hit head on by an SUV type vehicle. His right leg was hanging by skin with the bone protruding, he had internal injuries and much more. The 11 days in the hospital have horror and blessing stories galore, but we got through them. We also got through the 3 or so months of therapy in which I had to debreed his foot/leg twice a day and take care of him. He was off work for a whole year. I was in school and thought I would have to drop out and get a job (that would not pay anything like his). Believe me, there were a whole lot of hard things to go through. But . . .
The multiplying turkeys
- Gobble Gooble
This is the story I tell most often about that time because it shows God’s hand in a big way. The first holiday season (accident in late June) we had nothing. One day a turkey and a few groceries showed up at our back door. Since my husband had two small turkeys in the freezer from a previous purchase, we decided to give the turkey away. The next day there were two turkeys and some groceries. OK, let’s share them with others. You guessed it. The next day there were 4 turkeys! That year we had 25 turkeys pass through our home. We finally stopped giving them away because, well you can guess why, and had a wonderful spread for that year.
With boxes of food still sitting in our small kitchen, I was at the sink washing dishes and looking out our back window. My mind was rehearsing how God’s hand had been in all of this from two weeks before the accident to now (and onward). I was praising Him, when suddenly I ‘heard’ in my spirit something I had never heard before. God was giggling like a school girl! God was enjoying blessing us and enjoying doing it in a way we would never forget. I learned something new about God that Christmas. AND, not only did we have plenty of food, we were able to help out many other families in need with what God and some good people had provided.
The point of all this
There’s always a point, and the point here is that 1) We do not know what’s really going on in another person’s life and 2) Perspective makes all the difference. Look up, not around.
So how has a change of perspective made a difference in your life? Feel free to share your stories or links to articles you have written on the subject. BTW – you do not have to be a Christian to have stories about perspective and changed thinking, so I hope no one will miss the point just because I come from a Christian perspective. What’s your story?
Original toilet photo via Alvimann @ http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/638004 Altered by this writer. Original turkey clipart via http://hellasmultimedia.com/webimages/thanksgiving/thanksgiving_images_6.htm Altered by this writer Abacus photo via jdurham @ http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/585166
Dec 20, 2011 @ 22:26:57
Perspective is huge. If you recall the story of David and Goliath you see perspective at work there. The crowd runs away scared and David realizes he can’t lose because God is on his side. Suffering is hard, but we only see things right in front of us. In the midst of problems it is hard to see it, but stepping back is when I have realized that God has led it all along. As hard as those things can be, I wouldn’t trade them away. Our hope is not in our circumstances, our hope is in God.
Really good piece of writing here. Blessings..
Dec 20, 2011 @ 22:47:03
Thanks Derek. David and Goliath is an excellent example! And AMEN! I always try to step out of my own way and view God’s perspective on the circumstances, storms, etc. that find their way to my life. I have learned that His will, His timing, His plan is always perfect and always turns out for my good. It took me a while to understand that timing thing, but that is another blog post. Our hope is indeed in God and when we fix our eyes on Him, the waves disappear. Thanks for stopping by and sharing 🙂
Dec 21, 2011 @ 00:20:18
I loved this story and meant to get here before now to tell you! I am always learning new things from my own and others stories. It is amazing to me how we can, when we choose find that lemonade really is possible!
Dec 21, 2011 @ 00:31:27
Thank you valentine 🙂 I always learn new things from the stories as well. I love to hear others stories! Yes choosing to make lemonade rather than suck on sour lemons lol. If only people (and me sometimes) would realize that about perspective and what we tell ourselves. Thanks for coming by.
Dec 21, 2011 @ 17:20:13
Great ariticle. It is true, no one knows what really goes on inside the house.
Dec 21, 2011 @ 18:06:27
Thanks for stopping by Jackie. True, we can only judge what we see, and even that is judged through filters. That’s probably why God told us not to do it, at least when it comes to people’s motives…
Dec 23, 2011 @ 01:24:50
I have a professional lemonade stand. I have always gotten my perspective from those less fortunate than I. There are many people in my world who are markedly less fortunate than I. And it works every single time.
Red.
Dec 23, 2011 @ 03:09:08
lol. Very true. I am a preacher’s kid and never knew who would be at our table or even sharing our beds (kids of course in this case). We had nothing, but we had more than a lot of other people. It’s amazing how those experiences can mold perspective (shape, not the cheese making stuff). I’m sure your experience with special needs has honed that giving perspective 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
Jan 01, 2012 @ 02:11:13
In 2006, I had a similar revelation. The day after Christmas, I fell four feet off of a step ladder. This minor spill caused two breaks in the lower half of my leg. Being self-employed, this was disasterous. All I could think of initially, was the bills. How would we pay them? Then I began to realize, God had always taken care of us. Because I had cut my leg in the fall, the doctor elected to put a soft cast on the break for two weeks so that the cut could heal. After one week I began to get a burning sensation in my leg. My doctor was out of town, so I had to see one of his associates. This crackpot took an x-ray of my leg and said it wasn’t broken. I was furious! He was patronizing me! I stormed out of the office, vowing to never see this idiot again. Three days later, I returned to see MY doctor. He took two more x-rays and when he entered the room, he had a bewildered look on his face. He began to explain that the burning sensation was caused by an infection in the cut. However, the x-rays showed no breaks. We looked at all four x-rays side by side, one with breaks and three without. He was apologetic, saying that he didn’t understand what was happening when a sense of peace overwhelmed me. Then I realized. I patted the doctor on the shoulder and said ” Doc, call the burning what you want to, but I’ll say God was welding my bones together because my family depends on me.” After another week, I was off the crutches but still hobbling. You can call it what you want, but to me and my family, it will always be our personal miracle. God Bless You, Grant
Jan 01, 2012 @ 09:02:22
I love that Grant!!! Thank you for stopping by and sharing your God story. I can never hear enough of them. It’s not about the circumstances, it’s about knowing the God who always cares for us 🙂 Thanks for stopping in!