Thanks to Derek Mansker for his post: No gifts will be returned in this house.. He discusses why it’s important for his children (and others) to learn to be grateful for what they get instead of trading it in for money or something else they like better after Christmas is over. Stop on over and read the rest. Leave a comment if you like.
That’s nice, but I want. . .
I appreciate Derek’s post very much because it is something I see so often in our world today. The store is busier after Christmas than before. Why? Because people are returning all those gifts they received for cash or in exchange for something else they wanted and didn’t get.
I have to get what I want
Why do people do this? Do they not recognize that the giver thought long and hard about the gift before giving it? So what if it isn’t exactly what you wanted? Why do we disrepect the giver by returning the gifts?
Why it matters
Every year, I usually fight depression as the Christmas season approaches. There are several reasons for this, but one of them is fear that I won’t be able to buy the right gifts and make everyone happy. This is my issue, for sure, but the issue has been fed by others who did not accept gifts graciously. As a child, I often thought my parents would ‘know’ what I wanted. They often didn’t, but I still appreciated the thought they put into their selections. Another person in my life has a hard time receiving gifts from others. This person likes to be the giver. One year I spent quite a bit of time and money planning the perfect gift. His reception was less than stellar, and I ended up in tears. This person has since tried to undo what was done, but the damage was deep.
Returns tell the tale
Most people at least fake that they like the gift, but the number of returns after Christmas tells a tale. Many of us have lists of what we’d like to have for gifts. We don’t leave it up to chance because we want what we want. How selfish and self-serving is that? No wonder Christmas has become so commercial and often cold.
Rejecting the best gift
More than 2000 years ago, God gave mankind a gift in the form of a baby, our Savior, Christ the Lord. That gift would stay on earth for 33 years, teaching and showing Himself as fully God and fully man. Then, he gave the ultimate sacrifice: His life. He was crucified, and all our sin was laid on Him. He rose from the dead to complete the gift: salvation for anyone who would accept it. This gift was given out of a love so deep we couldn’t possibly fathom it. It was thought out, planned and executed with us in mind. God knew we could not work out our own salvation, so He worked it out for us and handed it to us, anticipating our delight in accepting this best gift ever.
That’s nice, but I want. . .
And how many said, no thank you to this gift? Some rejected it outright. Others tried to say, I’ll take it, but I have to do something to get it. But God knows exactly what it feels like to offer the perfect gift and have it thrown back at Him.
Have you rejected a gift by returning it for what you ‘really’ wanted?
Has someone else rejected a gift you gave and hurt your feelings?
How can we teach our children to appreciate the gifts they are given when we return our own gifts?
Do you feel that returning gifts is fine, or do you see it as a sign of ungratefulness in our society?
What about God’s gift? Did you remember to honor the best Gift ever on Christmas Day, or did you snub your nose at Him and celebrate yourself or your family or something else in stead?
doyoumeanwhatiknow 
Dec 28, 2011 @ 19:48:37
No. Instead I give those gifts either back to the person who gave it to me (they had to have liked it…they bought it) or to someone who would appreciate it, where I do not.
Yes and no. My feelings are not tied to the present. I will often tell people, “If you do not like this, I will gladly take it back.” I buy things I would like. Someone else’s taste is not a reflection on my intention to buy them something I think would be wonderful for them.
Buy emphasizing the importance of grace in receiving and teaching practicality. Impractical gifts are not something you should hold onto just because Aunt Emma bought them. If something will sit in my home for me to dust, move around or otherwise be inconvenienced by, I find it a better abode. That way, the gift is not wasted and I have not “cashed out” on someone else’s well-intended gift.
I do not like returning for cash. I will return for a better fit (except this year…see The 15th Day of Christmas) or the one which matches whatever I have already, but I do not return for money or something I would have rather gotten. But then again, when ppl ask me what I want, I tell them.
Yes, we celebrate it. But we do it on the other days as well.
Red.
Dec 28, 2011 @ 20:51:50
I read your 15th day post, Ann Marie, and wondered what you would say 🙂 Sometimes it’s ok to return gifts, but with chronic returners, there is a problem. We have ‘lists’ too (if we can get them), but sometimes you just have to choose something else (can’t find item, …).
I like Derek’s comment “It all comes down to gratitude.” (Nutshell) There seems to be a lot of ingratitude around – signs of the times? Or – am I just getting ‘old person’s syndrome’ (I walked both ways, up hill, in snow over my head….) Either way, Christmas is way different today than it was when I was young. Thanks for stopping by!
Dec 28, 2011 @ 23:02:44
For me, I am grateful, even if I reallllllllllllllly don’t like something. If I hate a gift, it means I really need to know this person better. They care enough to get me something, but I have not revealed enough of myself for them to have found something better. A bad gift is always a good opportunity.
Red.
Dec 29, 2011 @ 15:18:34
Great way of looking at it Ann Marie. I think my nutshell would be: Be grateful for the giver and the gifting 🙂
In some cases, it’s ok to return the gift or regift it, but do so for the right reasons. Scaring myself, because I think I’m advocating not telling the whole truth here if necessary (see both our previous posts on that!) One can say “Thank you for the gift” without commenting on whether it is loved or not. With the person in my example, it was “why would I want that?” Bigger issue than appreciating a gift I think lol. Thanks for adding to the conversation.
Dec 28, 2011 @ 20:41:57
Well said. It really does come down to gratitude. If something doesn’t fit or is broken, then go exchange it. But, otherwise it just seems rude.
Dec 28, 2011 @ 20:53:37
Well, said Derek. I wish I was better at putting things in a nutshell, but then my blogs would be very short :). It is an over-arching principle, not a one-size-fits-all commentary. Thanks for dropping in.
Dec 29, 2011 @ 23:26:04
Hi y’all, It doesn’t really matter to me if a gift I have given is appreciated or not. My intentions were to bless someone and if they didn’t like the gift it’s perfectly fine if they want to gift it to another or exchange it or toss it in the bin. What they do with that gift is up to them. Same as what we do with the many gifts God gives us. He allows us the freedom to do as we will with those gifts. Including Jesus. He never stands over us frowning or crying because we didn’t or don’t accept his gifts. He waits patiently, and with love, while always pointing us in the right direction. We may not understand the thought behind the gift/s we recieve, but the day does come when we realize our need for them.
There have been times when I’ve disliked the gifts I’ve been given and times I’ve loved the gifts. The worst part of getting gifts I don’t like is the trying to pretend that I’m happy to get them. I never want to hurt the other person’s feelings. So, I will say, thank you, and that’s lovely. I never take them back to the store (I did once as a teenager) but put them away in a drawer. I have so many things from my mother in law stashed in drawers it’s not funny. Infact I was trying to figure out what to do with the five tier chicken/fish breader that’s been taking up half of a kitchen cupboard for the last ???years just yesterday. I’m thinking I’ll take it to the local homeless shelter. They could probably make good use of it.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to write so much in a response 🙂
Thanks for coming by my blog and leaving your lovely comment.
Elizabeth:)
Dec 30, 2011 @ 10:11:48
Ha ha! Thanks for stopping by, and you can share as long as you like. I tend to not care what people do with my gifts after they receive them either – I just prefer they not make it obvious. The only difference between us and God is that He always gives good gifts 🙂 Unfortunately, we do not always appreciate them, and He is very patient and longsuffering with us (whew!).
I hope you figure out what to do with your mother-in-law’s offerings. Maybe pass them on to your daughter or daughter-in-law? Pass on the insanity? I hear you, and am only just learning to let go of things I don’t need, even if someone gave them to me. I’m not sure what a five tier chicken/fish breader is, but it sounds like it needs to go to a place where it can be useful.
I’m also glad to know there are still so many out there who are gracious and kind to those who give them gifts. Stop back any time.