Today I read a post from a man I “met” on facebook and admire greatly. It got me thinking, and I want to share it with you. His first line:
As we’ve discussed before, how often do we or others tend to dismiss others (now-a-days calling them dumb or stupid or worse) if they disagree with us, especially about issues we are passionate about? I frequently run into people on the internet who will absolutely act like I am the worst person in the world because I have an opinion they disagree with. So what? Do you agree with everyone you know? If you are hanging out only with people who agree with you, you are in big trouble. We need others in our life to debate with over the issues. For the Christian, it is even more important to beware of this tendency. God gave us free will, so we have the right to be wrong. He may not remove the consequences for our choices, but He will not force us to jump on board either. (See the discussion on freedom in Part V of the It’s all about the heart series.)
What God sees
God looks beyond the bluster and sees the heart. If the person is genuine, their belief system doesn’t make them horrible people. God loves us in all our sin, and He wants us to show that love in how we interact with those who disagree with us. That doesn’t mean we have to agree with them. It does mean we need to treat them with love and absolute respect. We all have many parts to us. We all have flaws. We all believe things that are not true or that others believe are not true. Instead of tossing a person out as ‘unworthy’ because of something you don’t like, love them anyway and agree to disagree. My favorite verse, Romans 5:8, says, “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” If God loves us in all our sin, we must show love to others as well. God loves sinners. He doesn’t like sin, but He does love sinners. I, for one, am SO glad He does! Sometimes finding common ground can help us see beyond the conflict to the heart of this person.
“While we were yet sinners, . . . .”
How can others see Christ in us unless we show love? We do not have to agree with someone to love them. We do not have to approve of their opinions, values, beliefs or actions to love them. True love shows respect, even in the midst of the most extreme disagreements.
What do others see in you?When people interact with you, do they see something different? Does the love of Christ shine out in how you treat them? Or, do you give them reinforcement that Christians are rabid haters? Even taking Christianity out of the equation – do you show yourself as a person worthy of respect by treating others with respect? How do you feel when others respond in rage to everything you say? How do you feel when others call you names or curse at you because you don’t believe as they do? This is a good place to trot out apply the golden rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” We also need to be aware of the minimize mine/maximize yours effect and keep our own backyard clean not spend all our time criticizing the leaves in the neighbor’s yard if ours is full of garbage.
Be a diligent seeker
If we have in the back forefront of our mind that our goal is to bring glory to Christ, not to win an argument, we should do well. As a Christian, you may be the only Christ others see – you want to come as close to the real thing as possible. Even if you are not a Christian, you represent yourself and possibly others. What others think may not be important to you, but you don’t want to drive away those who could enhance your life. Character, integrity and honor are characteristics everyone should strive for. For the Christian, it is even more important to represent Christ in a way that draws others instead of turning them away.
What it’s all aboutThe world’s mentality is often: please me! For the Christian, however, the mentality and the driving force should be: please Christ! The picture I chose for this section is “God’s Garden”, and it was chosen for a reason. We are all part of God’s garden. He planted us, sustains us, and harvests us. Plants tend to grow toward the light, and we should do the same. If our face is always turned toward the sun/Son, as we seek the warmth of His love. Just like a child seeks to please the parent, we seek to please our heavenly Father. We need to remember the other flowers are watching too, whether from the church garden or the worlds. None of us are perfect, but we can do better than what is often found out there today. It’s about that diligent seeking.
A huge thank you to Al Hartman for your inspiration for this post and permission to quote you.
Do you treat people with respect and dignity, even when they don’t agree with you?
Why do you think this is important?
How do you handle it when others treat you with disrespect?
Why do you think people treat others who disagree with them with disrespect?
If you are a Christian, what have you done to reflect Christ?
What are some things you have seen Christians do or say to reflect Christ (+) or gave Him a black eye (-).
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As we’ve discussed before, how often do we or others tend to dismiss others (now-a-days calling them dumb or stupid or worse) if they disagree with us, especially about issues we are passionate about? I frequently run into people on the internet who will absolutely act like I am the worst person in the world because I have an opinion they disagree with. So what? Do you agree with everyone you know? If you are hanging out only with people who agree with you, you are in big trouble. We need others in our life to debate with over the issues. For the Christian, it is even more important to beware of this tendency. God gave us free will, so we have the right to be wrong. He may not remove the consequences for our choices, but He will not force us to jump on board either. (See the discussion on freedom in Part V of the It’s all about the heart series.)
What do others see in you?
What it’s all about
Jan 22, 2012 @ 15:24:41
I am human. Of course I get “irritated” when others disrespect me. It is “human nature”. This is the reason that I have to take time to reflect on my thoughts and beliefs before I respond. Sometimes when I walk away to reflect, others take this as a sign of weakness. However, I must specify that meekness is not weakness. Don’t get me wrong, I can fist fight and cuss with the best sailor. It’s through the grace of God that I refrain. As for what I do, it’s on my blog. As a volunteer, I see on a daily basis Christ shining through others. However, these are local to me. When you have someone in the public spot-light, like Newt Gingrich, who openly professes to be a Christian but lives in an immoral manner, it gives Christ a double black-eye. It’s no wonder so many look at us with disdain when we profess to be Christians. I could make a post out of this Angie, but I’ll respect your space. Maybe one day I will choose to pick it up on my blog. God Bless You, Grant
Jan 22, 2012 @ 19:31:45
“meekness is not weakness” – I love that! I just had to back myself up and not post a comment on facebook – my virtual tongue is still bleeding! It’s ok if you want to take up space — you do it so well:) I see Christ in others all the time too. I think most that really are Christians have good intentions; it’s hard to back down when you know the person is heading down a dangerous path or when they treat us wrong. That, however, is not how it works. There is a time and place, and we have to keep so close to Him that we know when/where. Thanks for coming by. Can’t wait to read your post when you get a round tuit 🙂 Angie
Jan 22, 2012 @ 21:39:45
Great post. I think the bottom line is to never take it personal. To get offended. As soon as that happens, the ego has gotten out of control and automatic defenses start kicking in. Many times someone may interpret a person being disrespectful when all they’re being is honest. As the old saying goes, “The light can be quite painful to those who have been in the dark too long.” As long as the message is delivered peaceful, then the deliverer of it can rest assured that they did their best to be truthful and had the right intentions. It’s out of their hands as to if the message is grossly misinterpreted because someone is too sensitive or never experiences others speaking up.
Peace & grace,
~Miro
Jan 23, 2012 @ 15:43:27
Very true. We misinterpret what others say all the time as we look through our own filters. I can’t help what others think of my comments (or me personally), I can only do my best to maintain my integrity and honor. (just read your post on the code of honor.) Letting yourself ‘go there’ without a moment of thought or comtenplation does not bode well for the kindness of the comment or for it’s being fully thought out. Thanks for coming by!
Jan 22, 2012 @ 21:59:25
If everyone agrees with you, you are probably not doing anything of significance. Great post.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 15:40:38
Thanks Derek – very true. I think it was Lincoln (but my brain is fuzzy at the moment) who surrounded himself with those who would tell him the truth. Who wants to live in a fantasy world? It’s all clouds and sunshine till someone comes along with a dart of truth and bursts your bubble 😀
Jan 22, 2012 @ 23:26:27
Thanks for the gracious plug, Angela, and for associating me with such a fine article. As you know, I don’t blog, but my FaceBook posts can be found at: http://facebook.com/namtrahla
Yesterday I heard Dr. Carl Trueman interviewed on a radio program. After he had explained his perspective on a matter, the interviewer asked him how he would respond to someone who accused him of basing his view primarily on jealousy toward those who hold to opposing ideas. Dr. Trueman’s immediate reply was that the first thing he would do would be to examine himself. This godly scriptural approach was very encouraging to me.
We have nothing to fear from man– if God is for us it makes no matter who may seek to be against us. My critic may be rude, crude, vulgar, obnoxious, and hateful, but none of that means he is not God’s own messenger to correct me. The psalmist David emphasizes that the Good Shepherd’s comfort begins with his rod even before his staff (Psalm 23:4ff). We are to love our Father’s correction, for its purpose is to make us more like our blessed Redeemer, which pleases Him.
Jan 23, 2012 @ 15:53:44
Thank you for your inspiration! If you ever do decide to blog, I will follow you. For now, I follow you on facebook. Even when I don’t comment, I always read, for I find inspiration, conviction and more within your posts and comments. He is certainly the one to please. This sounds like fodder for another post – facebook or blog. I hope you enjoyed the post, and thank you for allowing me to quote you. Angie
Jan 23, 2012 @ 23:17:03
Do you treat people with respect and dignity, even when they don’t agree with you?
Yes, although they are often offended as much by what I do not say as what I say. Occasionally (read most of the time), my bluntness (read entire lack of tact) is abrasive enough to scrub tender feelings left out on the sleeve.
Why do you think this is important?
I want them to understand I am not standing on their heads. I have my own faults, but if saving them some heartache is possible, I will venture information regardless of comfort level.
How do you handle it when others treat you with disrespect?
A cryptic grin and a raised, very arched eyebrow. I have wrinkles based on the frequency this happens. I have no need for vengeance, for it is not my place.
Why do you think people treat others who disagree with them with disrespect?
Shallow gene pool.
If you are a Christian, what have you done to reflect Christ?
Nothing to which I lay claim. Whatever He may have done through me is for him to decide.
What are some things you have seen Christians do or say to reflect Christ (+) or gave Him a black eye (-).
Far too many to not be a novella…or encyclopedia.
Jan 24, 2012 @ 21:02:44
Encyclopedia indeed! It isn’t disrespectful to be honest (in fact it’s disrespectful to be dishonest). However, honesty, even delivered bluntly, doesn’t have to disrespect the other (read cursing people out, calling them names, talking about their ancestors…). God has been teaching me about this (sometimes the hard way). Just because I think it, doesn’t mean it’s the right time, place, person, to say it too. In fact, a few years back, God spanked me good because He would tell me things and I would think I was supposed to tell another person to ‘pray with me’. He said, “If I wanted them to know, I would have told them. I told you because I want YOU to pray.” I also learned the hard way that when you see/hear/read something and think, “so and so could use that” to put my arm up because I am quickly reminded that God didn’t let the other person see it – He let ME see it. OUCH! lol. I’ve learned to be a good girl to avoid those type of spankings as often as possible.
I like the shallow gene pool theory – maybe there’s too much bleach? Or, maybe their gene pool only has a couple contributors instead of branching out (hmm). Thanks for coming by and sharing your astute (always) comments. 😀 Angie