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Kicking it boy style!

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This week is the grandson week.  My 4 yo grandson is all boy, and I’m tired already!  We have a great time, however, and I’m always glad to see him come.  Today is a posting of random (or *promiscuous ?) thoughts, or ‘things I’ve learned’.

 

Fingernails boy style

When Klar was here, I had hello kitty on my nails.  For Roland, we have super heroes.  The first night he was here, we did our nails.  I took super hero stickers and cut them down to fit on our fingers.  Then a coat or two of clear polish to set it.

 

Jewelry (girl stuff) boy style

The grandson is just as fascinated by Grandma’s treasure box as the girls.  However, our play is a bit different.  So far this week I have seen him with a pile of necklaces hanging off his head (not neck), a clump being pulled behind his tricycle, and swinging behind like a cape.  He likes to wear the eye patch and funky teeth (also in the treasure box) and pretend to be a pirate with his ‘booty’.  He owns a wrap bracelet, that we call a ‘power band’.  If he has that on, he has super powers and can beat all the villains!  He also plays with the kitchen items.  Sometimes he ‘cooks’, but most of the dishes are now stuffed into the trunk on his trike.  Hmmmmmmmm

 

Karen 1/2

Karen 1/2 (Photo credit: -gigina-)

Hey Babe – crushing it boy style

Roland has a serious crush on his Aunt Karen for some reason.  She’s a bit creeped out about it, but it is a normal rite of passage for little ones.  He has been wanting to hang out with her, calling her babe, and crying if she looks at him wrong.  I remember just a couple months ago when he asked me to marry him!  How quickly they forget.  He was not happy when he found out Grandpa and I were also going to the mall with him and Karen (for Karen’s birthday).  He thought the two of them were going alone.  For some reason, he gets offended if we laugh too.  Ah well, who will be his crush next week?  Watch out Jason (his dad), this is only the beginning!  For Karen, I remind her that he is learning how to relate to others (especially ones he really likes), and she can help him do that or scar him for life hurt him by her responses.

 

I need something boys can watch.

Braun HF 1 television receiver, Germany, 1958

Braun HF 1 television receiver, Germany, 1958 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When the television is on, Roland will say, “I need something boys can watch.”  He means sports or cartoons.  Grandma started thinking (Oh  no!)  about this.  How often do we mindlessly watch television, unaware (or uncaring) that the subject matter, etc., may not offer healthy input for children.  I don’t watch a lot of things, but I occasionally have something on (like Dangerous Minds or any of the CSI shows).  These shows have quite a bit of violence on them, and the CSI ones often show very inappropriate images of a sexual nature.

I often have television on for white noise.  It is a mindless noise in the background that I seldom pay attention to.  This isn’t good for me.  It is certainly not good for any children in the area.  Here comes the conviction!  The Holy Spirit has used Roland’s words to remind me that what I think of as mindless, is anything but.  Time to make some better choices.

 

I hope you injoyed looking in our window 😀

What do you think?

Accessing the power of the Holy Spirit

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My Sunday School Class has been studying the Holy Spirit recently, and it has been a wake up call for me.  I didn’t realize I had drifted.  I used to be the first to tell others to leave room for the Holy Spirit to work, and yet, I found myself not doing that myself at times.  The Holy Spirit, an often neglected part of the Trinity, is vitally important to our life here on earth.  He is in believers.   But, just like I must turn a switch to access power for my computer, I must tune in and turn on that power I’m already plugged in to.  The Spirit is our Need-Meeter in every way as we walk this earth.  How often do we forget we have the power if we would only access it?

English: Gian Lorenzo Bernini - Dove of the Ho...

English: Gian Lorenzo Bernini – Dove of the Holy Spirit (ca. 1660, stained glass, Throne of St. Peter, St. Peter’s Basilica, Vatican) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Who is the Holy Spirit?

6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.  John 3:6    The Holy Spirit is the third part of the Trinity:  Father, Son and Holy Ghost.  He was sent to us when Jesus ascended to the Father to be our helper and much more.  He is the presence of Christ in our lives and teaches us all things we need to know, if we will but listen.

Why was His coming so important?

7 Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you.  John 16:7    Jesus told his disciples, sad that He was leaving, the importance of His departure.  Jesus had to go so God could send the Comforter to them, the person of God they would need to do the work He had called them to do.

4 And, being assembled together with them, commanded them that they should not depart from Jerusalem, but wait for the promise of the Father, which, saith he, ye have heard of me.  5 For John truly baptized with water; but ye shall be baptized with the Holy Ghost not many days hence.   Acts 1:4-5     The Holy Spirit was (is) the promise of the Father.  In other words, He is the guarantee of God’s promises.

13 In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, 14 Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory.  Ephesians 1:13-14    I don’t know about you, but that makes me excited!
Three Important Tasks of the Holy Spirit

8 And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment:  9 Of sin, because they believe not on me; 10 Of righteousness, because I go to my Father, and ye see me no more;  11 Of judgment, because the prince of this world is judged.  John 16:8-11

>He will reprove the world of sin.   He is that one who convicts of sin.  He shows us that we are in the wrong and need a Savior.  He doesn’t convict us to make us feel bad, although that is a part of conviction.  He convicts us so we will trust Christ and be set free from our sin.

>and of righteousness.  One way He does this is to show that Jesus was and is righteous.  Another way it convicts us is in showing us the righteousness we have in Christ.  When we give Him our sin, He gives us His righteousness.  No longer do we stand before God or man in our own righteousness (inadequate at best).  We stand in Jesus righteousness!   The Spirit reminds us of this when we hear that whisper in our ear that says “you are not worthy”.  Of course we’re not worthy, but He is, and it is He that is judged for our sin, not us.  So we can stand boldly before God and man clothed in Jesus’ righteousness.   The Spirit points us to righteousness and away from unrighteousness as well.   Even though we are righteous before God, we can still slip into unrighteous living.  The Holy Spirit convicts us about what Jesus expects of us to bring us back to righteous living.

The spirit works in the lives of unbelievers to point out their need for Christ.  He continues that work in believers to cultivate a life of righteousness.

>and of judgment.  The Spirit also reminds of the final end for those who do not trust in Christ.  Satan and his band have been judged.  Hell was made for them.  God does not want people to go to hell, so He made a way for us to escape the judgment.  The Spirit shows us that we must forsake unbelief and unrighteousness in order to avoid the coming judgment.

 

Are you aware of the Holy Spirit’s work in your life?  Do you access the power, ignore it, or refuse it?   The Holy Spirit does much more than this, but that’s for another post.  Ask the Spirit to show His power in your life today.

But I need you!

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Tonight, I sit here just resting from the quiet and the stress of the week with my #2 granddaughter.  I get a few days off before I get my grandson, so I will be working on VBS and writing, writing, writing.  This week I did not get any writing done at all.  I did more the week I had the Mother-in-law and the #1 granddaughter at the same time.   I adore my #2 (my Rissa Roo).  She is, however, extremely needy.  She is #2 of 4, and often gets the short end of the stick.  Since the advent of her 2 yo sister, she has taken up baby talk.  This is one of many annoying habits, but it is one that compares to Chinese water torture nails on a chalk board.

I have tried many tactics to eliminate this habit (at least around me), but to no avail.  We did make progress this week, but it got to the point where I had to turn away from her and tell her she could choose to talk baby talk somewhere else or choose to play with Grandma.  The point was to show her that her choices are her choices – a habit if you will – and she has the ability, at 8, to make better ones.  We had a few hour long sessions with tears and more, but in the end, she was doing much better.  The thing is that this child is so needy.  She is also bossy.  Along with that and some other quirks she has picked up as a bid to get attention (unconsciously), something has gone wrong.

So what? you may say.  The point here is that the child is desperate for attention.  However, the things she does to get attention work against her bringing negative attention instead of good attention.  Of course, all children will choose negative attention over no attention.  In my little Rissa Roo’s case, I have to worry about her because the attention getting behaviors are so bad and so hard to take, even for her grandma who adores her!  I want to help her learn how to 1) entertain herself, 2) accept that she doesn’t need attention 24/7 (it’s never enough) and 3) learn that the negative behaviors are choices that do not work, and so teach her better choices.  She also talks a blue streak and needs to learn that it’s ok to be quiet sometimes, but that’s another story and may have help from her ADHD. 😀

Horizontal communication, that between us and others cannot happen in this kind of environment.  It may take an 8 year old a while to understand, but I know adults who have this issue as well.  They are overly needy and seek to have that need filled in ways that push others away instead of drawing them.  Sometimes, these behaviors are habits, learned early and left over from childhood.  Some of us outgrow these behaviors as we grow.  Others, either because they do not see them or because they don’t know any better, continue in behaviors that effectively cut off their ability to truly communicate with others and thus get their attention needs met.

Vertical communication, that between us and God, can look like this at times too.  We may not see it as ‘attention getting behavior’ (and neither does the child or the adult in the above paragraphs) but it works the same.  Let’s say God does something for you.  You say thank you (sometimes), but not much time lapses before you want something else.  Some people get upset if God doesn’t do what they want in the time they want, forgetting all that God has already done for them.  It’s like God has to prove His love over, and over, and over, and over.  Jesus death on the cross is proof enough, and if we get nothing else, it’s more than we deserve.  Yet we can act like a young child who loves mommy when she’s happy, but tells mommy she’s a ‘bad’ mommy when angry.

The Israelites displayed this behavior, and I believe God used their stories to show us how we do this too–so no judging allowed.  God would do miraculous things for them and as soon as life got a little tough, they would turn away from Him or whine because they are unhappy with the now.  They forgot the big things God did!  We may wonder how they could march across a sea/river on dry land, among other miracles, and ever gripe to God again, but they did.  And so do we if we do not watch out.  I sometimes wonder if it breaks God’s heart as much as it breaks this Grandma’s to see a child hurting and doing all the wrong things to deal with it.  I’m sure this is something He sees way more than I do:  People looking for love in all the wrong places. . . 😦

Do you have attention getting habits that interfere with your horizontal and vertical communication?  How do you keep a grateful heart, appreciating what you get, while not griping when things don’t go that well?  Anyone have advice for teaching this to an 8 year old?  I’d love to hear what you have to say about this topic.  

BTW–the other kids have wrong behaviors too, but they are just a bit easier to deal with and more amenable to correction.  AND I l♥ve my Rissa Roo no matter what she does or doesn’t do.  😀

Random Ramblings

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Sorry it’s not a better picture – use your imagination 🙂

Shared at the right is one of my absolute favorite scenes.    This scene is in Kentucky, just before going over the bridge into Cincinnati, Ohio.  You come down a steep grade for the last two miles and go around a curve to be met by this site.  It always makes me catch my breath, and it always reminds me of the “city on a hill” or heaven.  I’ve seen this site more times than I care to say, starting when I was about 8, but it still gets me.  When we moved to the Cincy area a few years ago, it was like coming home for me because that sight and that bridge (over the Ohio River) have been a constant in my life and something I always loved and looked forward to (going South or North).

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Downtown Cincinnati

Downtown Cincinnati (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Recently, I was cogitating randomly, and I thought it sure would be nice if I had a straight road that went from my house to my gks house (maybe over top of other roads… so no traffic. . . .    God whispered to me, “Boy, you’re never satisfied are you?”   He reminded me that he moved me 2 hours closer before I even had grandchildren.  AND–I 71 is 3 miles from my house and 8 miles from the gks home.  So, I do have a road (fairly straight) from here to there.  I get almost entirely highway all the way!   How ungrateful of me.  Father forgive me for always wanting more.  (See last post:  But I need you!)

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In trying to be creative, I decided to put the word random in the thesaurus to see if I could come up with a less-used word.  Then I put in thoughts (because ramblings lead to something else entirely).   How do you like these:

Haphazard Happenings

Aimless Intuitions

Designless Deliberations

Indiscriminate Musings

Hit-or-miss Rationalizations

Driftless Discernings

Irregular Inferences

Slapdash Speculations

Promiscuous Perceivings

Hmmmmmmmm.   Do you have a favorite?

○-○-○

Isn’t it funny how we don’t like people who are like us?  Seeing ourselves in others (whether we recognize it or not) is not fun.  The Daughter and the Husband do NOT get along well.  Why?  2 peas in a pod.   We have a friend who is quite the talker when she gets going.  My Mother-in-law is also quite the talker.  Now-a-days her conversations are repeated over and over, but the talking continues even without the memory.  Anyway, last week we were out to dinner with the friend who had not seen us for a while and had a lot to say.  Ginny was sitting at the far end of the table.   With her 2 yo mind, she turns to my daughter and says in her best 2 yo, loud voice.  “What in the world is she yammering about down there?”   YIKES!   Not to worry, the talker didn’t even skip a beat, even when my daughter then  told her Grandma, “She’s yammering about her job.”   Ain’t life fun?

I hope you all have those promiscuous random moments to enjoy in your own life. 😀         Oops, I think this one got published first!  Ah well,  ……

Time with Grandma!

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Grandma and her Rissaroo ♥

We’re going light today.  This is week three in the go-to-grandma’s-alone-for-a-week saga.  I love this one-on-one time!  Well, I love it most of the time.  You wouldn’t think it would be so exhausting.

Week 1:  Marilyn, age 2.

Week 2:  Kerstin, age 10

Week 3:  Klarissa, age 8

Week 4:  Roland, age 4

♥♥♥♥♥♥

So far, Klarissa has made >20 necklaces, bracelets or rings.  Most of them are with yarn and straw

Chevron bead and Indian glass bead strings

Chevron bead and Indian glass bead strings (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

beads, but still.  If the kids had their way, they would go through every craft item I own in 3 days.  This week, Klar, who is now old enough, is learning how to “create” instead of slapping a paper full of items she likes.  She’s not happy with the concept, but she’s doing well so far.  Grandma is VERY anal about my craft stuff.  She spends hours cutting pictures out of magazines and gathering various other components.  That equates to hours for  a few minutes of joy.  Is it worth it?  You betcha!

♥♥♥♥♥♥

Hello Kitty (TV series)

Hello Kitty (TV series) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today, Klar let me sleep in a bit.  We then made some items with my “real” beads.  Next Fiesta Brava for lunch.  This is the favorite restaurant of all time for both of my oldest grandchildren.  Why?  Who knows, but Gma likes it too, so we’re good.  She chose Fiesta Brava over McDonalds and the play land!!!  Then we took off to shop at Joanne’s Fabrics.  We spent an hour ‘shopping’.  We didn’t buy much and I thought maybe she wasn’t having a good time, but we got in the car and she said, “That was fuuuuuuuun!”   Ok, Grandma, quit assuming and just be!

♥♥♥♥♥♥

We got a Hello Kitty fleece for her “Gma’s house” blanket.  I tried to talk her into something else, because this will be her forever blanket.  She insists she will never stop loving Hello Kitty 😀  She does have some competition with the 2 yo, however.  We also got stuff from the dollar bin to keep her busy for the evening so I can do some things????  We’ll see.  Not looking good so far.

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Ok, back to that highlighted phrase up there.   Why do I have so much trouble just being and just letting things be?  I think it’s about people pleasing.  I do like to make people happy, but at times I set myself up because no one can maintain that forever.  I am learning slowly.  I tell the gks that I am not the entertainment committee.  I do plan to do things with them, but I don’t have to be paying attention to them every minute of every day.  This is true even on their alone week.

♥♥♥♥♥♥

I want to teach them how to entertain themselves.  I also want to teach them about boundaries.  The red head (Klar) has a habit of coming up to me and

Things the Grandchildren Should Know

Things the Grandchildren Should Know (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

dancing and singing for me without waiting to see if I want to do that at the moment or not.  It doesn’t work out well for her because I am trying to teach her to ask people instead of telling them what to do or what she is going to do.  As I type this, she has not stopped talking to me.  I have not once answered her or even looked up, but she keeps right on going.  She has fixed me food, danced and just talked (her nickname is jabber jaws).  Not sure what that’s all about, but it’s not something that will make her life easier for her in the long run.  She’s much better at entertaining herself than most of her siblings, but she’s also very bossy.

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I took a break to get her to find something else to do.  It’s really hard to write with other words pouring over me at the same time as mine are trying to form coherent sentences and ideas.

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My grandchildren are not the only ones who behave this way.  Remember when children were seen and not heard?  That was a long time ago.  Now children seem to often be the center of the world.  A product of the self-esteem movement?   Probably that and more.  It makes me sad, however, because these children are in for a world of hurt when they get into the big bad world and find out it’s not all about them any more.  Then they whine.  Oh yes they do!!!   I don’t want to work those hours (or I don’t want to work at all).  I can’t afford food (as they pull their cell phone out of their pocket….)   TV, Computer, electronics ad nauseum are necessities.    You get the point.  I’m sure you have come across this.

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That’s one reason I try so hard to invest into the lives of my grandchildren (and others).  I want them to learn these lessons now, before it’s too late.  I have a great time with them during their week, but it’s about so much more than that.  This time with them gives me an opportunity to mold them and teach them, as I love them.

♥♥♥♥♥♥

I’m sorry if this seems a bit random; it is.  It is me thinking ‘aloud’.  And sometimes, that’s OK.  So back I go to my overarching purpose:  planting seeds into my grandchildren.

What do you think?

Ten ways to love: Keeping promises

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The last of our 10 ways to love series is:   Promise without forgetting.

12 Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.     Proverbs 13:12

 

Have you ever made a promise and then forgot to fulfil it?  Maybe your intentions were good, but busyness got in the way.  Has anyone ever made you a promise and not kept it?  This reminds me of a post over on M3 by Anne Marie Dwyer called “The thought does not count“.  When it comes to promises, the thought does not count!

♥x♥x♥x♥x♥

Sure, son, I’ll take you to the ball game.—–Sorry, son, I had to work overtime—-translation:  I got busy at work and forgot.

I’ll pick up the dry cleaning on my way home from work—–Sorry, I forgot—-translation:  Sorry, I forgot because I was thinking about something else.

♥x♥x♥x♥x♥

I’m sure you’ve all been on both sides of the equation.  It’s easy to promise and not so easy to keep the promise.

When someone goes through a certain mood cycle, this person will promise about anything.  The promises made during this time, while well meant, are worthless because follow through is non-existent.  The promises are to convince me to let her have her way.

♥x♥x♥x♥x♥

Think teen:

I’ll be home by 10:00; I promise! —  You can trust me; I promise! — I can’t wait because I love you; I promise! . . .

♥x♥x♥x♥x♥

When someone makes a promise and then doesn’t do it, it “makes the heart sick.”  I have been there a few times when someone made a promise and then it never materialized.  This is multiplied exponentially when it comes to children.  Since they tend to hear the word “maybe” as, “Sure I promise I’ll do that,” they may need to learn the difference between those kind of ‘promises’ and the real thing.  However, they trust; they think people keep their promises; they are devastated when those promises are not kept.

 

Saying I love you seems simple, but it’s very difficult.  After all,  love is patient, kind, not envious, not boastful, not proud, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, does not delight in evil, rejoices with the truth, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.  (I Corinthians 13)

♥x♥x♥x♥x♥

So, if you want to show love to another:

Listen without interrupting.

Speak without accusing

Give without sparing

Pray without ceasing.

Answer without arguing.

Share without pretending.

Enjoy without complaint.

Trust without wavering.

Forgive without punishing.  and

Promise without forgetting.

♥x♥x♥x♥x♥

No one loves perfectly outside of God, but how do you hold up?  Have you learned how to truly love?

Ten ways to love: Forgiving without punishment

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This post overlaps the last one a bit, but we will take it down a different path.  Number 9 on our list of ten ways to love  is:

Forgive without punishing.”

13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.   Colossians 3:13

 

"Forgiveness 4" by Carlos Latuff.

“Forgiveness 4” by Carlos Latuff. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Forgiveness is not for the one who hurt you; it is for you.

Forgiveness is not saying “it’s ok”; Forgiveness is saying I choose not to hold it against you.

Forgiveness clears out the icky stuff–the stuff that will lead to bitterness.

 

The real thing about this statement, however, is to forgive without punishment.   This kind of forgiveness is not forgiveness at all.

 

Forgiveness without punishing involves:

forgiveness

forgiveness (Photo credit: cheerfulmonk)

Not holding it against the person.

Not bringing it up every time you get angry (or at all).

Not using passive aggressive digs to make the person suffer for what they did.

Not saying, “I’ll forgive you, but. . . .”

Not holding on to it like a dog with a bone and using it to bash the other person.

 

When God forgives us of our sin, there is no longer any repercussion (eternal) for our sins.  Jesus paid the price and took the punishment.  Now, when God looks at the believer,  He sees His Son and His righteousness.  It is no longer laid to our account.  That’s the way forgiveness should be with us.

 

A few other remarks:

Forgiveness does not require the other person asking for forgiveness.

Forgiveness does not require staying with an abuser or trusting the untrustworthy.

 

Do you forgive without punishing?  Are you a grudge holder?   Have you felt the freedom of true forgiveness — for the self or for others?  Do you have anything to add?

 

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