This post overlaps the last one a bit, but we will take it down a different path. Number 9 on our list of ten ways to love is:
“Forgive without punishing.”
13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. Colossians 3:13
“Forgiveness 4” by Carlos Latuff. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Forgiveness is not for the one who hurt you; it is for you.
Forgiveness is not saying “it’s ok”; Forgiveness is saying I choose not to hold it against you.
Forgiveness clears out the icky stuff–the stuff that will lead to bitterness.
The real thing about this statement, however, is to forgive without punishment. This kind of forgiveness is not forgiveness at all.
Forgiveness without punishing involves:
forgiveness (Photo credit: cheerfulmonk)
Not holding it against the person.
Not bringing it up every time you get angry (or at all).
Not using passive aggressive digs to make the person suffer for what they did.
Not saying, “I’ll forgive you, but. . . .”
Not holding on to it like a dog with a bone and using it to bash the other person.
When God forgives us of our sin, there is no longer any repercussion (eternal) for our sins. Jesus paid the price and took the punishment. Now, when God looks at the believer, He sees His Son and His righteousness. It is no longer laid to our account. That’s the way forgiveness should be with us.
A few other remarks:
Forgiveness does not require the other person asking for forgiveness.
Forgiveness does not require staying with an abuser or trusting the untrustworthy.
Do you forgive without punishing? Are you a grudge holder? Have you felt the freedom of true forgiveness — for the self or for others? Do you have anything to add?
Related articles
- Ten Ways to love: Complete trust (doyoumeanwhatiknow.wordpress.com)
- Forgiveness (beproverbs31woman.wordpress.com)
doyoumeanwhatiknow 
Jul 18, 2012 @ 02:37:42
It took me quite a while to learn that holding a grudge doesn’t hurt the other person, but poisions me. Wonderful, thoughtful words you’ve shared. I can never hear it too many times. Thanks.
Jul 18, 2012 @ 14:42:41
Thank you, Barb 🙂
Jul 18, 2012 @ 11:44:21
I’ve learned that forgiveness equals forgetting….if we remember in any way…then we haven’t truly forgiven…..good words!
Jul 18, 2012 @ 13:24:11
Thank you! Very true. I have at times found that if it starts to come up, I have to stop and pray and re-forgive. I don’t know if it’s possible to forget some things, but I know it is possible to forgive. No one said it was easy though. BTW–I’m running a bit behind, but I will get to your blog 🙂 Angie
Jul 18, 2012 @ 15:51:59
i bet i’m more behind than you….:( you’re on my list!
Jul 18, 2012 @ 21:31:16
he he. Glad to know I’m not alone!!!!
Jul 18, 2012 @ 22:42:38
Jul 19, 2012 @ 07:41:26
Hi Angie very True, a good message, forgiveness is about us, God tells us if we don’t forgive others then we won’t be forgiven this is because unforgivness is sin so we separate ourselves from God, He cannot be in Unity with us, good and evil cannot co – exist together.
How many times are we to forgive 70×7 …you better watch yourself Angie when you get to 491 offenses against me, I’m going to let you suffer because I won’t forgive you, I will let it eat me away instead.
Luke 17:3-5 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him. And the apostles said unto the Lord, Increase our faith.
As you said Angie we choose to forgive but unless those who hurt us say sorry they can’t receive our forgiveness the same as we don’t receive God’s until we come to heart repentance. God had chosen to forgive us while we were still sinners by sending Jesus but we still need to accept the free gift of Salvation by repentance, which means we believe we need Jesus Christ as our Lord and Saviour.
Do we still hurt when we choose to forgive others, of course we will but it does not turn into bitterness and hate which eats us away.
Without Jesus empowering us it is impossible to really forgive others from the heart.
Christian Love Anne
Jul 19, 2012 @ 14:30:02
Good point about the other person not receiving our forgiveness. We forgive, but the other has to receive it in or der for it to help him/her. Like salvation, forgiveness is ours, but we must accept it to have it.
I think the ‘forget’ is not necessarily a forget as in it never existed, but a forget like God’s ‘as far as the East is from the West’. It’s a forget that doesn’t hold it against the other person any more. Angie
Jul 19, 2012 @ 18:27:50
I agree Angie, that is what forgetting God’s why means, those without Godly wisdom don’t understand God’s Truth in the Scriptures and the differance from wordly fleshy things and God’s, this is the same as His Love, Peace, Joy, Hope, Rest, Perfection, Riches, Wisdom, Knowledge, Protection and also His Healing which is not always Physical but is often deep within.
Christian Love from both of us – Anne
Jul 19, 2012 @ 08:06:36
P.S I forgot to mention Angie about forgetting, please forgive me??? so do we really forget, no everything we experience, hear or see is stored in our subconscious and we can recall it unless of course we have an illness, but even though we can remember and still have the scars, we don’t have the pain because forgiveness means we don’t keep a list of wrongs that eats us away, yes we are aware of them, but they have ceased to cause us grief.
Christian Love Anne.
Vine and Branch World Ministries
Jul 22, 2012 @ 08:22:08
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