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A Day of Rememberance

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Today is a mixed bag of feelings for me.  I remember hearing about the twin towers and then watching television for several days with tears flowing.  I learned some things that day I’d like to share.

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1.  People will come together and help one another in crisis.

2.  People care!

3.  Some things are more important than politics and petty concerns.

4.  It does matter what you believe.

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The first two were obvious as we watched first responders and others take their life in their hands to help others.  People across the country stepped up to the plate in a big way, then and on down the road.  In fact, we still remember and honor those who died that day.  We still follow the lives of some of those who lost parts of themselves or their loved ones in that building.

The third reminds us that all those things we worry about and argue about won’t really matter if we lose our country.  We need to stop snarking at one another and come together in an effort to save this land.  Many of us are coming together on our knees.

Fourth, we are reminded that not every belief is valid.  In the USA (and I suspect elsewhere) we’ve come to the point where we want truth to mean whatever someone wants it to.  In this case, several young men believed that they were doing a service to their god by flying those planes into buildings full of people.  In fact, they willingly martyred themselves for this belief.  I believe they had a rude awakening seconds after the planes hit or went down.  How sad.

They weren’t the only ones with a rude awakening that day.  We learned how vulnerable we are.  We learned many things, good and bad, that have changed how we view the world around us.  I hope we will all choose today to remember those lessons and seek God for the restoration of our country.  These lessons were not just those of the people of the US either.  Everyone everywhere needs to learn what we learned that day.  Their life and their eternity may depend upon it.

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 What were you doing on this day?  What lessons did you learn?  How do you remember?

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Today is also my anniversary.  30 years!  I don’t know where the time goes, but I thank God that He knew better than I did who I needed and put us together.  I thank Him that He has kept us together through all the ups and downs.  I thank Him for teaching me some of those life lessons through my marriage.  I thank Him for teaching us what real love is through the hard times.  On September 11 of the tower tragedy, we did not celebrate.  We cried.   Today we celebrate the wonder of 30 years of life!

Brian’s mother (Ginny), the happy couple, My mother and father (Marilyn and Phil), and my son (Jason). My how life has changed 😀

Communication Busters: Non-constructive Criticism

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Let’s begin this post with a story:

Several years ago, I was doing my final student teaching stint for my Masters Degree and preparing for my future after college (a non-traditional student).  My supervisor from college was a Science Teacher and very nazi-like about what she wanted us to do.

I knew this and should have never picked a science class for her to observe! In my defence, I was also stressed out because my husband had almost died from a bleed out in his innards somewhere and my father was deathly ill — Streptococcus agalactia had eaten part of his heart and more.  I would teach during the week and head to the hospital on the weekends.  We almost lost him a few times, but he’s still kicking now.  I was way behind on my Capstone paper, (another lovely story) and still recovering from a series of surgeries a year earlier that had taken it out of me.

Rock strata Rock strata beside a forestry road...

Rock strata Rock strata beside a forestry road in the Dyfi Forest. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Feels like TMI?  So, at my first observation, I decide to do a science lesson about rock layering.  I did not have enough time or resources to have each child make his or her own jar of rock strata, so I did one big one.  The kids loved the lesson.  Ms. Nazi did not.

I had evidently said something (as an aside about dirt that was not part of the lesson) that wasn’t true.  When I got back for her to talk to me, she let me have it with both barrels.  She ranted and raved.  Told me I lied, etc.  All of this was in front of my classroom teacher (and in hearing of the students).  Both of us looked like a deer caught in the headlights.  The woman finished her rant and went her way, leaving a broken woman behind her.

If I had not had the extra stress, I might have been able to think more clearly and ask for clarification.  As it was, I took it to heart, and I almost didn’t recover.  It effected me almost the whole rest of my student teaching time.

All that to say this:  that is an example of non-constructive criticism.  This woman did not tell me what I said that was wrong; she gave me no credit at all for the lesson; she did not act as a professional.  Her criticism devastated me instead of helping me become a better teacher.

Most people give non-constructive criticism, at least sometimes.  Criticism is essential to growth, but given in the wrong way does absolutely nothing toward helping the person criticized.  All it does is give the criticizer ‘holier than thou’ feelings and either anger or frustrate the criticizee.  A useless waste of breath and energy, it should never occur.  Non-constructive criticism always breaks down communication.

How do you criticize?  Do you ride a high horse or think carefully about your words before speaking/writing?

Tune in tomorrow for part II of this story. 🙂

Up is down

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Two things have happened recently that made me angry.  I’m going to tell you what they are, and then I’m going to tell you the real reason I’m upset about it.  It’s really not about the happenings at all, but what it says about our society.

Meet the Nazis: # 1

That word may be a little right-on-the money over-the-top, but some people take things way too far.  Somewhere in my world recently, a lady decided to take someone else to task publicly because of a paper towel.  The statement did NOT need made in the context, but the person had to get their digs in that they are better than others because they would not support a less-green option.  My first thought was “get over yourself!”  But in today’s world, we see this more and more.

It’s not easy being green

Taking care of our world is a God-given responsiblilty.  However, some have stepped over the line and made it more like a religion than a philosophy.  They think they have the right to shoot the infidels censor everyone around them and hate chastise look down on others who are not as “green” as they.  How arrogant, but that’s not the only reason this infuriates causes concern.

Meet the Nazis:  # 2

Watching an entertainment ‘news’ a show the other night where they were disecting Paula Deen.  Paula has a cooking show on down-home, stick-to-your-ribs, full of good stuff food.  This is an entertainment venue, and Paula repeatedly states that she does not eat like that in her every day life. {My husband loves her, and I’m too busy writing to complain and turn the channel.}  Anyway, two women were discussing Deen’s recent ‘come out’ about having diabetes.  One was totally trashing her for being a bad example…..   It really does not matter what her reasoning was.  What does matter is that she came across as someone who wanted Paula tarred-and-feathered  dipped-in-honey-and staked-to-an-ant-hill  excommunicated, uhm, castigated for her heinous act of cooking food that tastes great but is “bad” for you, while keeping her diabetes a secret.

It’s not easy being perfect

Good grief woman.  She did not steal the crown jewels or kill someone.  Talk about over-kill.  I don’t care if Paula Deen wants to cook with fat and butter on her real-life ENTERTAINMENT show.  I don’t care what she chooses to eat in her real life.  She can eat what she wants and cook what she wants – Diabetic or not – it is her choice.  I understand there’s more to it than that, but this woman was just way too rabid about something that really doesn’t matter in the larger scheme of things.  Don’t like it?  Then don’t support her, but don’t flog her at the post of public opinion, expecting her to crawl under a rock and hide in shame for the rest of her life.  Get over yourself!  Guess what?  I am smart enough to know not to eat like that on a regular basis.

So what’s the real deal?

The real deal is that this is common fare today.  Up is down, black is white, good is bad….  There are so many issues that really matter.  Do we really need to run other people’s lives and sit in judgement on things that are really more personal than public?   It’s ok to have sex with anyone and everyone whenever you want – don’t judge that!  It’s ok to trash others in order to get ahead – don’t judge that!  It’s OK to abort babies – don’t judge that!  Don’t call something a sin – don’t judge that!  Don’t do anything at all to make someone wake up to reality ‘uncomfortable’ – don’t judge that!  We have to be politically correct; we are expected to hide our religious beliefs and practices because others don’t like it; we are called names and worse if we dare stand up against such things as abortion or sodomy or drama (backbiting/slander/gossip/etc.) or polygamy or …..

That’s another post.  I hope, whether you agree with me on certain issues or not, you can see that our values have become skewed.  Many tout out that “do not judge” statement, but God did not say “do not judge” out of context.  He said:  “Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.”  John 7:24   In other words, we are to judge with a pure heart, with nobleness, honesty and justice, making sure our own back yard is clean before trying to help others clean out their’s.  We aren’t to judge motives and we are not to judge as if we are better than others.  We are to judge with discernment.

A really good  assessment of the Biblical mandate about judging can be found here.

The point is that society has tilted and expends way too much energy on side issues and distractors, becoming almost rabid in their desire to slam those who don’t “measure up” to their self-righteous standards, while leaving alone the things that matter.

Pulling in my claws  stepping off my soap-box  Finished with my diatribe, I will leave it up to you what to make of this post.  I’d love to know what you think, so take time to comment if you please.  Hate mail may be sent to my e-mail which you should be able to easily find here somewhere.  It is public on this site.  If  you can’t find it, ask me for it in comments.

The three deadliest words in the world

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The three deadliest words in the world :  “It’s a girl!”

When I read the above article this morning, Ann Marie Dwyer’s post on “Going Global” the other day.  She discusses the continued senseless deaths from poverty all over the world and encourages us to do our part.

Zionica states that, “India and China are said to eliminate more female infants than the number of girls born in the US each year.” and quote one woman who confesses to getting rid of 8 baby girls!

I understand the culture values males, and even understand somewhat the reasoning behind it, but I do not understand senseless slaughter of girls, from pre-born to adult, as if they are a n0n-valuable, throw-a-way, unwanted trash.

It is sad that people are dying every day from poverty and its resultant diseases.  It’s even more sad that people deliberately take the lives of children because they are not seen as valuable.

In the US and elsewhere, the selection process for deciding which children to have and which to abort is different.  You may make the cut if you’re a girl, but what if you have a disability or you are inconvenient?

How sad; how sad; how sad.

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