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Birthday Bash

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Happy Birthday to Me!

Happy Birthday to Me! (Photo credit: jo-h)

Saturday was my birthday.  I was born on my parent’s first wedding anniversary, so it would have been their 55th.  The birthday was great.  My mother-in-law was here and she was able to sing Happy Birthday to me, even though she said “dear lady” instead of Angie.  The thing is that for many years, my mother-in-law was always the first one to sing to me on my birthday.  She called in the morning, and it was something to look forward to.  It’s been a few years now since I’ve heard that song from her, and it made my day!  It’s important to remember that, sometimes, it’s the little things that really make an impact.

Sunday was the big day, however.  My husband’s birthday was last Tuesday.  He was away for work, so we couldn’t celebrate.  So, Sunday was celebration day for both of us.  My request to my middle-born was for him to come and go to church with me, and he did 😀  He came in and sat by Grandma Ginny and we had a hard time keeping her quiet because she wanted to talk to him and talk to us about him:)  My oldest and family did not make it till after church, because my daughter-in-law had to work in the morning.  The oldest grandkids were with their dad this weekend, so we missed them:(  They sent me some beautiful hand-made cards though!

So, we had all our kids, two grandkids, Grandma Ginny, and a family friend here for steak on the grill and lots of other goodies.  We had a great time.  One The middle child :Dof my favorite things {TMI warning} is when I’m in the bathroom, which shares a wall with the dining room, and I hear all the laughter and talking going on out there.  I just love to listen to it and feel blessed 😀  [and for my writer friends-I know 😀 is not a punctuation mark, but it expresses how I feel.]  About 4pm, the middle son had left for work and friend gone to work too.  I tried to lay down for a minute when I hear this voice.  Hmmm, that sounds like Glenna.  Couldn’t be!  Eventually, I went out to investigate and my Uncle Dave and his wife, Glenna had come down!  I didn’t get my nap, but naps don’t matter in the scheme of things.  The important thing is family and friends and spending time together.  That’s what I wanted for my birthday, and that’s what I got!  What could be better?

Building MemoriesPart of the backbone of communication is building memories by spending time together.  My Uncle and I tell people we are twins.  I am one month older than he is, but we are a LOT alike!  We can make a half statement and the other knows exactly what’s coming.  We know each other so well that communication doesn’t even have to involve words.  It’s an intuitive thing based on years of memory building and time spent together.  It is built and maintained on connection.

The same is true of communication with God.  We build our relationship with Him by spending time with Him, listening to Him, sharing experiences with Him, and just getting to know Him.  Trust is built.  An intuitive knowing of Him is built.  The ability to truly communicate at a deeper level is built.   He attempts to communicate with us from the beginning, but it is only as we begin to walk with Him and learn of Him that we find that inner joy and peace that comes from truly knowing Him.

Learning about Him is kind of like learning new facets of a multi-faceted diamond (infinitely faceted).  If you’ve ever studied the names of God (Jesus/Holy Spirit), you know that he often has names that express some aspect of His personality.  We could not bear to see Him all at once, so He reveals Himself to us slowly, building that relationship in much the same way as we build them horizontally with others by building memories and learning about one another.

Sometimes that “knowing” can backfire in the realm of horizontal communication, especially with family.  It’s never that way with God though.  Each new thing we learn about Him makes us thirsty to learn more.  We will spend eternity learning about Him and never get to the end.

In the meantime (before that eternity) building connections with others is heaven on earth!

What do you have to say?

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Truth: It does a body good!

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truth

truth (Photo credit: Erick-Pardus)

Communication, the premise of this blog, cannot happen when based on a lie.  How can you have any sort of real communication when one (or both) parties approach it with a lie?  In other words, one or more person hides the truth and the real meaning behind the attempted communication.  Sadly, the person embracing deceit often has no clue they have done so.  They believe the lie to be the truth.  In the current political maelstrom in the US, both sides have believed lies and called them truth.  Thus, the breakdown of any real communication between parties (or even individuals) regarding politics religion  economics parenting pretty much everything.

.

Malachi 2:17

You have wearied the LORD with your words.  Yet you say,  “How have we wearied Him?”  In that you say, “Everyone who does evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and He delights in them,” or, “Where is the God of justice?”

In reading this passage this morning, my first thought was my country and it’s trajectory toward destruction.  Everywhere I look, I see people saying that “Everyone who does evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and He delights in them.”   Evil is not good in the sight of the Lord!  And yet, my country (and many others) have called evil good.  These are some phrases I’ve heard that show this:  {Some are direct quotes and some are put together from several statements and implications}

~*~

“God is a God of love, and He just wants people to be happy.”

“A woman has the right to choose what happens in her body.”

“It’s my right as a parent to give my daughter ‘gogo’ juice and parade her in bars and pageants in (a sexual way.)” 

“Since we evolved and there is no God, it doesn’t matter what we do – survival of the fittest and all that.”

“I had to get out of my marriage; I just wasnt happy any more.”

“A real woman knows how to make others pay.”

“God doesn’t discriminate.” 

“What God wants for all of us, above all else, is love.”

~*~

Some of these statements sound really good, right?   Some of them are even true to a point.  However, God does not call evil good, nor does he delight in

Communication

Communication (Photo credit: P Shanks)

those who do evil.  He wants to save them, for sure, but He does not delight in their deeds.  There is a difference between a person and their deeds.  He may love the person and want to bring them to Himself, but their deeds need forgiveness, not embracing and pride.  God’s love is not a free pass to call evil good and delight in those who do evil.   {Romans 1:32:   who knowing the righteous judgment of God, that they who do such things are
worthy of death, not only practise them, but have fellow delight in those who do them.}

All that to say that embracing a lie leads to broken communication and broken lives.  We cannot truly engage with God or with mankind when we start on the premise of a lie (based on scripture).

Lies have a short and troubled life, but truth lives on forever. — Anonymous

Or, as it says in Proverbs 12:19:  The lip of truth shall be established forever: but a lying tongue is but for a moment.

Truth or Consequences

Truth or Consequences (Photo credit: kxlly)

As I said, with political battles heating up here in the US, the lies fly about like a swarm of locusts.   I wonder if I am the only one who sees the ads with statistics or polls all over them and wonders about their truth?  Anyone who has studied stats knows how easy it is to manipulate them.  The same with polls.  Then we find partial quotes twisted to imply something not the truth.  I think all political ads should come with verification somewhere.  I want to know how the stats were collected, the sample, and much  more to evaluate the truth of the statements.

Going back to our quote, I also see quotes from some of the candidates in the past that have come back to haunt them.  The candidate was either truthful and now wants to cover with lies, or lying and now wants to pretend he/she didn’t mean that.  So how can we find a truth in this maelström of lies?  How can we find ways to communicate with one another?

Lies will come out, but the truth will stand forever.

Have you ever realized you believed something that was a lie?  How do you hold up your beliefs for the litmus test of truth?  Do you rigidly hang on to lies and half truths, or do you seek truth in all your dealings with God and others?  Have you ever felt the communication breakdowns of lies?  How did it feel?  How I long for the day when all truth will be revealed!

But I need you!

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Tonight, I sit here just resting from the quiet and the stress of the week with my #2 granddaughter.  I get a few days off before I get my grandson, so I will be working on VBS and writing, writing, writing.  This week I did not get any writing done at all.  I did more the week I had the Mother-in-law and the #1 granddaughter at the same time.   I adore my #2 (my Rissa Roo).  She is, however, extremely needy.  She is #2 of 4, and often gets the short end of the stick.  Since the advent of her 2 yo sister, she has taken up baby talk.  This is one of many annoying habits, but it is one that compares to Chinese water torture nails on a chalk board.

I have tried many tactics to eliminate this habit (at least around me), but to no avail.  We did make progress this week, but it got to the point where I had to turn away from her and tell her she could choose to talk baby talk somewhere else or choose to play with Grandma.  The point was to show her that her choices are her choices – a habit if you will – and she has the ability, at 8, to make better ones.  We had a few hour long sessions with tears and more, but in the end, she was doing much better.  The thing is that this child is so needy.  She is also bossy.  Along with that and some other quirks she has picked up as a bid to get attention (unconsciously), something has gone wrong.

So what? you may say.  The point here is that the child is desperate for attention.  However, the things she does to get attention work against her bringing negative attention instead of good attention.  Of course, all children will choose negative attention over no attention.  In my little Rissa Roo’s case, I have to worry about her because the attention getting behaviors are so bad and so hard to take, even for her grandma who adores her!  I want to help her learn how to 1) entertain herself, 2) accept that she doesn’t need attention 24/7 (it’s never enough) and 3) learn that the negative behaviors are choices that do not work, and so teach her better choices.  She also talks a blue streak and needs to learn that it’s ok to be quiet sometimes, but that’s another story and may have help from her ADHD. 😀

Horizontal communication, that between us and others cannot happen in this kind of environment.  It may take an 8 year old a while to understand, but I know adults who have this issue as well.  They are overly needy and seek to have that need filled in ways that push others away instead of drawing them.  Sometimes, these behaviors are habits, learned early and left over from childhood.  Some of us outgrow these behaviors as we grow.  Others, either because they do not see them or because they don’t know any better, continue in behaviors that effectively cut off their ability to truly communicate with others and thus get their attention needs met.

Vertical communication, that between us and God, can look like this at times too.  We may not see it as ‘attention getting behavior’ (and neither does the child or the adult in the above paragraphs) but it works the same.  Let’s say God does something for you.  You say thank you (sometimes), but not much time lapses before you want something else.  Some people get upset if God doesn’t do what they want in the time they want, forgetting all that God has already done for them.  It’s like God has to prove His love over, and over, and over, and over.  Jesus death on the cross is proof enough, and if we get nothing else, it’s more than we deserve.  Yet we can act like a young child who loves mommy when she’s happy, but tells mommy she’s a ‘bad’ mommy when angry.

The Israelites displayed this behavior, and I believe God used their stories to show us how we do this too–so no judging allowed.  God would do miraculous things for them and as soon as life got a little tough, they would turn away from Him or whine because they are unhappy with the now.  They forgot the big things God did!  We may wonder how they could march across a sea/river on dry land, among other miracles, and ever gripe to God again, but they did.  And so do we if we do not watch out.  I sometimes wonder if it breaks God’s heart as much as it breaks this Grandma’s to see a child hurting and doing all the wrong things to deal with it.  I’m sure this is something He sees way more than I do:  People looking for love in all the wrong places. . . 😦

Do you have attention getting habits that interfere with your horizontal and vertical communication?  How do you keep a grateful heart, appreciating what you get, while not griping when things don’t go that well?  Anyone have advice for teaching this to an 8 year old?  I’d love to hear what you have to say about this topic.  

BTW–the other kids have wrong behaviors too, but they are just a bit easier to deal with and more amenable to correction.  AND I l♥ve my Rissa Roo no matter what she does or doesn’t do.  😀

Ten Ways to love: Complete trust

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Number 8 on our countdown is:   Trust without wavering.

{Love} 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”     Corinthians 13:7

 

THE HORIZONTAL:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could have absolute, unwavering trust placed in us or placed in another?  Actually, we have that when we’re born.  We have no lack of trust.  We completely, totally, and abidingly trust our parents (and anyone else).  We don’t pop out wondering if our parents will take care of us.  We have to learn not to trust.  How sad is it that it doesn’t take long to learn?  Humans let us down, some on purpose and some just by being humans.  Add in the sin nature and the fact that our brains and perceptions have a few years to grow, and it’s inevitable that we learn to mistrust.

We get hurt; we expect others to hurt us too.  Sadly, we then contribute to mistrust in others.  Someone I know has been hurt by an ex-girlfriend (no, not my husband) and frequently brings it up in his new relationship.  He sabotages the current relationship because of the hurts of the past.  It turns into a vicious cycle.  I know I gave my husband a lot of grief in the early years because I had a trust problem.  My trust issues had nothing whatsoever to do with him, but he paid the price, as did I.

"Forgiveness 3" by Carlos Latuff.

“Forgiveness 3” by Carlos Latuff. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Lack of trust does not show love at all, because real love trusts.  Real love doesn’t hold others responsible for the breach of trust given by others.  Real love FORGIVES.  Forgiveness is not for the person forgiven, it is for the forgiver.  In fact, the only way to keep from becoming a person who can’t trust is to forgive those who hurt us.  It frees us to trust again.  People usually don’t mean to breach your trust, just as you don’t mean to do it to others.  When someone repeatedly breaches your trust, forgiveness does not say “it’s ok.”  Forgiveness doesn’t mean staying with someone who abuses you or continuing to trust someone who can’t be trusted.  What forgiveness says is this:  “I do not have to let you tarnish every other relationship I have.  I can free myself to love and trust.  You will not change who I am!”

Do you allow your hurt to keep you from trusting?

 

THE VERTICAL:

And what about God?  I used the word abidingly above on purpose.  If you look up unwavering in a thesaurus, you will find the word abiding there.

John 15 talks about us abiding in Him.  He is the vine, and to abide in Him, we must remain connected to that vine.  We can’t connect and disconnect, trust and then not trust.  We must remain connected, sucking up the nutrients only the vine can give.  When we abide in Him, we grow.  When we don’t, we wither and die.

This post is well-timed.  I see so many who struggle with trust, and a couple in particular right now.  After all, we all have people in our lives that let us down.  Those who have endured abuse have even more reason not to trust.  God is not human.  How often do we project human failings on Him, though?

We project the sins of the dad on the Father.  We blame Him for evil we bring upon ourselves.  We pout and blame when we don’t get our way.  We allow our trust to waver.

We also look at our own untrustworthy nature.   BUT:  God is, was, and always will be faithfuleven when we are unfaithful.  II Timothy 2:13

"Forgiveness" by Carlos Latuff.

“Forgiveness” by Carlos Latuff. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

says, “If we believe not, yet he abideth faithful: he cannot deny himself.”

Thank you God that you are faithful, even when I am unfaithful.  When I struggle with trust, You hang in there with me and teach me to trust again.  I want to faithfully abide in You, and yet I am human.  Father, I choose trust.  I choose to love like I’ve never been hurt.  I choose to cling to you as the Vine, the Nurturer, the very Life Blood.  Bless your holy Name!

Do you abide in Him?  Do you have trust issues that need resolved?  Can you love like you’ve never been hurt?  Do you have anything to add?

 

Ten ways to love: Be real

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Our 6th installment in the Ten ways to love series:

6.  Share without pretending.

Ephesians 4:15 –“15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:”

 

Hmmmmm, what does this mean?


This one is rather difficult.  I found others in my research who wondered about the connection between the statement and the chosen passage.

One response on yahoo answers:    Share without pretending means, Don’t pretend and do it because you actually want to. This is really what you desire to do. Not forceful desire but willingly desire. Without being a hypocrite or enforcing your pride or scam.

To that, I say, duh!  I mean, I agree.  This is an answer (and even the answer), but it doesn’t really tie in well with the passage.

 

A look at context

When you look at the context of the passage (see below), you find that Jesus is telling them to grow up in the Lord.  He tells them not to be like the Gentiles (unsaved), but to grow in Him, putting off the old man and being renewed in their mind.

 

The old man

I believe the passage, in saying speak the truth in love, is saying not to pretend to be what you’re not:  be truthful, be real, be a grown up in Christ.  When we share with others, do we do it for the right reasons?   Some people make donations for tax purposes or because it makes them look good.  While the charities they support appreciate the money, the motivation for the gift is questionable.  The donor pretends to be charitable, but it is not from the heart.

 

The new man

A person who has put off the old man, now has pure motives and gives in truth and without pretending.  He or she now gives because the love of Christ is present in his or her life.  I am not saying that people cannot be truly generous and sharing for the right reasons outside of God.  I am saying that a Christian who has matured in Christ will have a generous, sharing heart with no ulterior, hidden motives.  He or she will share without pretending, showing love, the love of Christ, generously and truthfully.

 

Secret Millionaire

As I type this, I am watching “Secret Millionaire”.  The Millionaire goes out incognito to check out various charities and then donates to them.  What we learn from this:

1.  When we share without pretending, we have to get out there, get in there, and get our feet wet.  There’s nothing wrong with charity from a distance, but if it’s possible to get in there and get to know people and help people, that is sharing without pretending.

2.  When we share without pretending, it makes a huge difference in the lives of those we share with.  Money is great, but when we share more — our talents, Christ’s love, everything we are — we touch people’s lives in ways we can’t even imagine, and we touch them for eternity.

 

►OK, that was my attempt at this one.  What do you think?  Can you find further answers in this passage? What about other ways to give without pretending?  I am open to hearing your thoughts on the subject.  Maybe one of you can clarify the connection for us. 🙂 

 

Ephesians 4:13-24:

“. . . 13 Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:

14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;

15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

16 From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.

17 This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind, . . . 20 But ye have not so learned Christ;

21 If so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus:

22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;

23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;

24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.”

The Joys of Miss Communication

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Hello, Hallo, chíkmàa, Servus, صباح الخير, kaixo, pryvitańnie, Wai, hafa?, sga-noh, hola, Muribwanji, 你好, hej, hutch-e-lul-lul-o, kuzu-zangpo, hyvää päivää, salut, grüß Gott, huthegelluthego, Γεια σου, aloha, shalom, góðan da, Dia duit, こんにちは konnichi wa, Yow Wah gwaan, kwe kwe, Dev baro dis div, salaam or do-rood, atswhay upay?, bees-e-lees-e, barey, Selam,….

Have you ever noticed how two three a hundred people can read the same thing, hear the same thing, and have a different response based on several factors.  These factors include our cultural filters (I typed flitters first – should I have kept it??), our upbringing filters, our worldview filters, our family filters, our experience filters, our belief filters, and millions many more.

 

 

One reason I love writing about communication involves the miscommunications that happen every single day whenever two people try to communicate.  It gives me more fodder for my blog and teaches me more about communication.  As a people watcher, I love, love, love watching and listening to others (or reading posts and comments).

 

 

 

Montage of languages. Prototype header for the...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

The other day, I took my oldest Granddaughter to Chick Filet.  While she was playing, I was listening to two friends behind me having a conversation.  One was obviously more of a talker and an interrupter.  The less-talking friend was trying to tell something to the other.  Every couple minutes few seconds, the more-talker would interrupt her in mid-sentence to insert her own thoughts, questions, and analogies.  I presume she was going for clarification, but what she was doing was being rude!

 

As time when on, I could feel the frustration emanating from the less-talker as she would say, “Well, anyway” and go back to the story.  She was not going to get side-tracked, no matter how often she was interrupted, also rude in some contexts.  Eventually, the story was told, but I’m guessing less-talker did not feel good about it, and more-talker probably missed the entire point of the exercise.  Since my back was to them, I could grin with delight as I listened without offending them.  Poor less-talker needs to give her friend a lesson on boundaries.

 

I am not immune either.  My daughter and I speak a different language.  I speak American English, but I have no idea what language she speaks.  I just know the atmosphere is rife with potential miscommunication every time we speak.  I usually believe I was clear about my speech, but somehow, it gets all screwed up because she doesn’t speak the language.  How do you overcome this?  I don’t know, but it’s a lot of fun to watch in other people.  Not so fun to find oneself in the middle, however.  If these things did not happen in our fallen world, what would we watch on Television or laugh at??

 

 

Thank the Lord His communication is clear.  I want a show of keyboards hands – Who understands God’s Words completely?  Hmmmmmm.  Well, in this case, we know the problem is not His.  The problem is that we use our flitters filters when we talk to or listen to Him.  It helps to ask Him to make His word clear to us before we read the Bible or pray or listen to a sermon or read an article or ….   This is especially true with the Old Testament.

 

 

 

I used to believe God was always serious until I ‘heard’ Him laugh one day at a little ‘joke’ He was playing on us.  (See theTurkeyStory). 

 

 

 

Many young ladies (and old ones) have difficulty relating to God as Father because their own fathers were less than perfect.

 

 

 

Some have difficulty with the “obey Me” thing, projecting their feminism and/or independence onto God’s thoughts (men are not immune).

 

 

 

Communication

Communication (Photo credit: P Shanks)

♦What are some ways you flitter filter what you hear from God?  From others?

 

♦Do you enjoy the melodramas all around you as people seek to communicate without really having a clue how to speak to someone in their own language? 

 

♦Do you have any advice about how to remove your filters from your listening/communicating? 

 

♦Do you have a funny story to tell?  I’d love to hear it! 

 

♦Response is always in your court.  If you’re busy, just move on, but if you have something to say, here’s your chance.  🙂

 

Ten Ways to love: Accusations

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The second statement in our ‘Ten ways to love’ series is this:

Anger

Anger: an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. (Photo credit: baejaar)

2.  Speak without accusing.

The verse:  James 1:19:  Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

I find this one very difficult because it’s so hard to keep accusation out at times.   Because it’s more difficult to see my own stuff, I’m afraid I will have to use what I see in others as examples here.  I am not casting the first stone, however, because I can accuse with the best of them at times.

The backhanded question

A certain person is quite good at speaking with accusation behind seemingly innocent words, usually in the form of questions.  “Why is the front door open?”  translates to “Why didn’t you shut the door, do you want to heat the whole world?”   Implied (and often spoken after the statement) is the hard work trying to earn money to pay the bills while everyone else wastes money like it grows on trees.  This is speaking with accusation.

I saw ‘evidence’ and, I know you’re guilty!

Sometimes, we speak with accusing when we haven’t received all the information needed.  This one seldom happens a LOT in relationships.  If you’ve ever caught some of the Maury Povich type shows, you see people coming on with accusation oozing out of their pores!  I saw a text on your phone, so you MUST be having an affair.  “I only slept with 5 people, but I know you’re the dad.  So why aren’t you stepping up to the plate to take care of YOUR child?”   “I saw you look at her, you don’t love me!”    And so on ad nauseam!!!  This way comes by jumping to conclusions and attacking rather than waiting for more information and strangling him in his sleep DISCUSSING it in an adult manner.

How could you?

Sometimes, in a similar vein to above, we assume another’s motives.  It’s entirely possible we’re wrong, but we think we can read minds, so….  Another person I know seems to be able to find a negative motive in most anything.  I probably attribute good motives more than I should, but I’d rather give a person a chance than to assume  wrongly.  People have different love languages (and other filters), and sometimes they mean well, even if the results are not what they intended.  For example, when my husband does something for me, like going to work every day or fixing a problem, he is saying, “I love you!”   Because I did not understand this for a few years, I attributed wrong motives and didn’t believe he loved me.  I was wrong and caused a lot of heartache to myself and him.   Sometimes we can just accept people, and their motives, at face value.

A Person (Man) exclaiming something

A Person (Man) exclaiming something (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Political Debates gone wrong

If you’ve ever watched a debate, and I use that term loosely.  How often do you hear accusations flying?  Uh, yeah, all the time!  Rather than defending one’s own take on the issues, deflection techniques muddy the waters.  Personally, I would rather hear what a candidate believes than the mistakes of his/her opponent.   A person that can stick with the issues and not get sucked into the vortex of distraction gets my respect.  This type of conversation (no matter who is doing the ‘debating’) should keep the focus on the person speaking and not the other person through accusation and idiocy.

The Children

We do this to children all the time.  They bring us a flower and we yell at them for picking it.  They want to hug us, but we accuse them of ‘bugging’ us or being to clingy.

The rest of the story

If you read the next verse in James, it says, ”

20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.”

 

I memorized this scripture many years ago and use it often to remind me that my anger, accusations, judgments, etc. do not work God’s righteousness.  In fact, they often get in the way and turn others away from God.  In order to show love, it is necessary to tame that tongue and give thought to our words before we allow them out of our mouth.  No one is perfect, but sometimes that extra second of thought will save some heartache for all.

Have you ever jumped to conclusions and wrongly accused someone?   Have you rightly accused them, but to the relationship’s detriment due to the way you handled it?  Have you attributed negative motives to someone and accused them by word or deed?  Do you distract through accusation in a fight, debate, discussion, argument?  Have you brushed a child aside and spoken with accusation to them?  What are some other ways we speak with accusing?

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