It’s all about the heart

When it comes to the things we want to do or do not want to do, we want what we want.  Anyone who has spent any time at all with a 2 year old knows the truth in this statement – we do not like it when others put boundaries on us.  Hopefully, as we grow, we learn to accept boundaries from authority figures (including God).  This is true when it comes to living pure/holy/moral lives as well.   There are several ways to respond when God/Parents/Authority figures say “No!” (or do/go/stop/etc.).

You can’t make me!    

I have a grandson, Roland, who has just turned 4.  This child is and was rebelious from the get go.  He simply does not want to do something if others tell him to do it and wants to do it if they tell him not to.  In teaching him to say “I’m sorry” after accidentally hurting someone (which happens quite often), we came to a head-to-head crisis.  At the crisis point, I had him on my lap, holding him there until he said “I’m sorry”.  It was a 45 minute struggle, and I was certainly tempted to let it go.  However, I understood that this was an important thing for him to learn.  Fortunately, I am stronger than he is.  Finally, after 45 minutes, he said, “I’m sorry.”   Game over, Grandma wins.  What Roland didn’t realize is that he won too.  He had learned a lesson about boundaries and doing what’s right.

Where’s the line?

Another incident that sticks in my mind with Roland happened early on.  The molding between the family room and kitchen is the “no cross zone” at our house (at the time).  I remember well the day Roland walked up to the line.  Grandma said, “No!” firmly.  He turned, looked at me full in the eyes, and stuck his toe over the line.  His eyes said, “This is a challenge.  Do you mean what you say or not?”  Grandma took the challenge, and Roland discovered that even a toe over the line is disobedience.

There was a little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forhead; When she was good, she was very, very good, but when she was bad, she was horrid! unknown

The distraction technique

The next disobedience technique comes from my not-quite-two granddaughter.  She learned early, that if she could distract the adult telling her no, she could reach up with the other hand, swipe the item, and run like a bunny rabbit.  She thought she could get away with it if she wasn’t seen.  Of course, this didn’t work very often.  Sometimes it does work because parents can’t always see what their children are doing.  We sometimes think we can pull one over on God too, but He is never distracted.  In fact, He knew  you were going to do it before you did!

Sneaky fingers

Look over there, Gramma!

The next techinique, same granddaughter and similar in style, involves what I call sneaky fingers.  Marilyn is not allowed to touch the keys on my computer.  Of course she wants to do so– really bad.  So her techinque is to stand and watch as if she has no interest in the keys.  Soon a little hand slowly starts moving up toward the keys, slowly creeping upward with a final rush toward a key or two if she makes it close enough.  This is a form of distraction and attempt to hide her intent as well.

What??????

Shhhhhhhhhhhhh!

The next technique I’ve seen in every child I’ve ever had in my care, but right now we’re discussing my two preschool grandchildren as my examples.  My 4 yo grandson was just potty trained.  Yes, it’s true.  He did not want to do it, and he fought every attempt.  His habit was to sneak off in a corner, an attempt to fly under the radar, and poop his pants.  As soon as he finished, he’d go right back to playing until the stench told on him.  Anytime kids are quiet . . . .   Marilyn is really good at this.  If she wants to do something, play with something, taste something, and has been told no, she will get very quiet, fall off the adult radar, and do whatever it was she wanted to do.  This falls into the category of deciet and an attempt to hide the ‘sin’ as well.

Obedience with a but…

The final category involves obedience, but with a heart attitude.  Outwardly, the obedience happens.  Inwardly, not so much.  Marilyn, when told no, stops what she’s doing and gets this hooded, gear-churning look on her face.  She will stand there like that for a minute or more.  She obeys, but Grandma knows she’s doing it out of duress and not because she wants to do it.  This is the category many Christians fall into:  I will obey you God, but in my heart, I’m really doing what I want.  This is the most insidious of the categories as well, because the attitude of disobedience is still there.

It’s all about the heart

Our determination to follow the rules, whether society’s, parents, or God’s, often begins and ends in the heart.  We see a police car and obey the speed limit while in view.  The minute we’re past, how many step on the gas and go right back to disobedience?  Do we think it’s OK to do something if no one is looking?  Do we step our toe over the line to see if we will get away with it?

Actions (or inactions) have consequences

Every thing we do or don’t do, every choice we make, every time we do something we know is not good for us or we’ve been told not to do, has a consquence.  The consequences can be mild or major, they may happen now or later, but they will happen.  Some of us decide experiencing the consquences is worth the momentary pleasures of the disobedience.  Some of us obey — with a but.  Some things have consequences for others.   We think we’re not hurting anyone else by our choices, but that’s not true.  Nothing we choose to do (or not do) happens in a vacuum.  Your choices effect (and affect) others.

So, what’s the point?  Ah, let’s go there.  There is a reason parents give rules.  There is a reason society gives rules.  There is a reason God gives rules.  Are they for our hurt?  Absolutely not! {Disclaimer:  I am aware some human beings may do things for our hurt – we’re talking about the rest of them.}  Do children understand all the rules their parents give them?  If only!  We may not always understand why we need to do or not do something.  Our obedience is not dependent on our understanding.  A right heart obeys because it is the right thing to do.  Understanding comes later.

Do you have a story about one of these techniques or others I have not included?

Have you ever used one of the above techniques or others to try to get your way?

Do you justify breaking rules or laws because you don’t agree with it or because it won’t hurt anyone?

What is your heart attitude?  Are you chronically disobedient?  Do you obey with a but…? 

Feel free to add your stories, questions or comments to this post.  You may be included in a future post 🙂

The following is for fun.  Having the granddaughter here…..

Stand Up – Veggie Tales

What is purity?

How many bugs parts. . . until it's impure?

How many bug parts, aphids, thrips, rat hairs, feces, eggs, magots, etc., are acceptable in your food?  According to the FDA, you can have a minimum of these and more in your food before they declare it unclean.  You have probably eaten the equivalent of several bugs (and more) already this year.  Examples (via FDA website):  Pizza and other tomato sauces can have up to 34% mold count; Spinach can have up to 50 aphids, thrips or mites per  100 grams; Peanut butter must have less than 30 insect parts for every 100 grams.  Ok, now that you are sick to your stomach ready to barf aware of what the FDA considers ‘pure’, what do you think?

Purity, as defined by Dictionary.com includes:

(1) the condition or quality of being pure; freedom from anything that debases, contaminates, pollutes, etc.

(2) freedom from any admixture or modifying addition.

(3) ceremonial or ritual cleanness.

(4) freedom from guilt or evil; innocence.

(5) physical chastity; virginity.

Not gonna happen

We would like (without success) for our food to be absolutely pure.  Unfortunately, it just isn’t possible to keep contaminants from our food — if not along the process, then in your own home.  I won’t give you details in the interest of keeping you here instead of running to the bathroom causing you to never eat again.  But what about us?  God wants us to be pure.  What does that mean?  Is it even possible?

The basics

Just like our food, we allow contaminants in our lives that mar our purity.  Pornograpy is a huge contaminant.  Television, movies, games, etc. can contain images and words that contaminate.  According  to one article, Neilson claims the average child has seen 8,000 murders on TV by the time elementary school is completed. By age 18, that number jumps to 200,000.  The article also brings up the matter of commercialism.  Commercials are made to draw the child.  He sees. He wants. He demands. Often, he gets.  The child is constantly bombarded with images of items she does not have, teaching her that she is wanting in some way if she does not have these things — leading to coveting, envy, jealousy, discontent and more. These are only a few of the examples of “garbage” we willingly allow to go into the minds of our children.  Adult minds are not immune from the effects either.

Bombarded with impurities

Just as it is difficult to have a pure food item, it is difficult to remain pure in a world where we are constantly bombarded with impurities.   So how do we stay pure in an impure world?  Just like our food, it is impossible to be 100% pure in most ways, but if we don’t strive for purity, we will land far from it.  Whether of body or spirit, purity is a worthy goal to pursue.

How do we pursue purity?

1.  Guard our minds from impurities.  One way to do this is to turn off the television, choose not to see that movie, choose not to listen to that off-color joke, choose well the people we hang with, and stay away from certain web sites, among other things.  I could also mention putting on the armor of God here.

2. Fill our minds with the pure things.

• Scripture:  “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:”  2 Timothy 3:16 (KJV)  Meditating, reading, studying of scripture, thinking about good things
• Thinking on good things:  “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”  Philippians 4:8 (KJV)

Our lives will reflect what we fill them with.  Choosing purity must be intentional.  It will not happen if you just kind of hope it does.  It is a choice.  And along with the choice, must come the feeding of purity and the starving of impurity (See previous posts:  “Getting our feed on” and “Starvin Marvin”).  This is true whether you are in a relationship with God or not.  What you feed in your life will show:  you are what you feed on! {You reap what you sow, Garbage In = Garbage Out, . . .}

What are some ways you choose purity?

What are some ways you drift along, allowing impurities in?

What are some ways to make purity intentional?

What does purity mean to you?

Communication Busters: Civility in politics?

In a read-worthy article in Christianity today called “The Cure for Election Madness [How to be political without losing your soul]” , Amy E. Black brings up some very good points about the political situation today.  Having recently been cursed out and called a few names by those who disagree with me politically and having them point out I’m a highly unintelligent ignoramous for my beliefs, I know exactly what she means when she discusses the lack of civility in politics.  This is nothing new, but it seems to have escalated to a great degree.

Distractors

When a person stoops to name-calling, all real debate, all communication has ceased to exist.  Both sides of the US political scene have been guilty of the incivility, especially as they approach the 2012 election cycle.  Lacking the ability to debate one’s own beliefs or substantiate one’s own claims leads to an attempt to take the voter’s eyes off the real issues.  Mud-slinging is nothing but a distractor from the real issues.  It does what the name implies and covers all the issues with mud, so that you, the voter, can only see mud – everything gets ‘muddied’, muddled, and mutilated.  It also distracts from the fact that the mud-slinger cannot express him/herself in any other way.

What about you?

Most of us have come to accept, even though we dislike it, the idea that politicians are going to dig up the other candidates, great-great-great-great-grandfather’s sordid affair with the midwife and other such superfluous issues.  However, if you discuss politics at all, you must realize that the candidates are not the only one’s slinging mud.  What happened to civility?  Why do we have to put others down for not believing as we do?  They do have the right to be wrong!  So do you!

Amy Black writes:

“If we are to seek peaceful solutions and honor God in politics, we Christians of all people must avoid such hateful talk. James 4:11 commands us to “not slander one another,” an exhortation that should extend beyond how we treat other believers. Whether talking with friends or campaigning for our favorite candidate or cause, we should engage our political opponents and their ideas with respect, welcome the opportunity to learn from other perspectives, and find ways to disagree charitably as a natural part of the political process.”

►Engage other’s ideas with respect

All people deserve respect, even if they are wrong.  Since God is very clear that none of us really understand or get it right all the time, how arrogant are we to think that our beliefs (those not specifically spelled out in the Bible) are the correct ones and that means we can disrespect who we want for whatever reason we want?  [“There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God.” Romans 3:11]  To be blunt:  this too is sin.  This does not mean we have to be politically correct and bow down before the forces of evil.  It does mean we disagree in a respectful, Christ-honoring manner.  Jesus was known to call a few people names, such as ‘whited-sepulchers’, but we are not Jesus.  Jesus was speaking of their spiritual condition, and pointing out the hypocrisy of their religious trappings without a relationship with their creator.

►Welcome the opportunity to learn from others

“Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”  Proverbs 27:17   I frequently find, in civil discourse, that I discover some new aspect of something.  It may even lead to a change of mind, change of focus, or at least a shared understanding.  It is the lack of civil discourse which leads folks to start thinking of themselves more highly than they ought, believing they are the true founts of knowledge from which all others must drink.  Once again:  how arrogant!  At the bottom of this tendency is pride:  bow to my wishes, ideas, political beliefs, etc., or I’ll make you wish you had!  I don’t know about you, but when people go on the attack, I don’t want to discuss with them any more.  Some people seem to like arguing, but I don’t like arguing just for the sake of arguing.  That is drama.  I do enjoy a good debate, however, where each side presents their ideas in civility, actually listening to the other person instead of eating them alive for daring to disagree.  It is when we isolate ourselves from the ideas of others (not accepting, but treating the person with respect) that we become narrow-minded hypocrites, full of self, seeking to make others into a carbon copy of us.

►Find ways to disagree charitably

Agreeing to disagree (in the political arena and elsewhere) allows us to share with one another, sharpen one another, and change society as a whole.  Regardless of what you think about my beliefs, ideas and ideals, feel free to agree or disagree, but please don’t scream at me, curse at me or call me names.  People are always in the teaching process.  When someone does the above, he or she has taught me something.  When a person is disrepectful, he or she has taught something.  People constantly teach others about something through their words and deeds:  they give a glimpse into their character, that inner person.  Civil discourse teaches others that while you uphold your own beliefs, you are willing to listen respectfully to others, and maybe, just maybe, learn something in the process.

God cares about the way we argue

“We shouldn’t retreat from the public square and we should work to build a better society. But I’m convinced that God cares about the way we argue as much as He cares about  the issues we espouse.”  This quote from Daniel Darlings blog post “Some great advice for the election season,” [where I discovered the Amy E. Black article].  As we dive into the debates, caucases and general election melee, God is watching and listening.  He cares about how you present yourself to the world.  He calls all of us to love, even when we disagree with one another!

 

Have you been guilty of mistreating another who disagrees with you?

Have you ever been on the recieving end of such?

How do you respond when others disrespect your beliefs or your right to have and express your beliefs, especially in the political arena?

How do you respond when others disagree with you?   Have you ever evaluated or prayed about your response?

You may be the only Jesus some people see.  Evaluate your ideals, beliefs and actions in light of the Scripture, and then go out as a light in the darkness and as salt to savor a bland world, debating with civility and the keeping the real enemy in mind.

“Does He Ever Write Back?

“Watching my little buddy today and he found my Prayer Journal, and as all three year olds do asked, “What is was?”  Told Him it is where I write letters to God.  Very seriously flipping through the pages he asked, “Does He ever write back?”

A friend of mine posted the above on facebook a few days ago.  Her “little buddy” is a 3 year old named Logan.  He is an adorable little cutie that thinks of my friend as a grandma.  Isn’t it funny what kids say?  Little Logan hit the nail on the head.

He sent us the first love letter 

Thinking about this, I have to say how blessed we are – we already have His letter!  He wrote it long before we were born and left it for us to read while He’s ‘away’.  Imagine treating a love letter from your significant other like you treat the Bible.  Some of you will be able to bow out here, but most of us struggle to keep in the Word, reading it, studying it, learning it, and especially applying it.  We often have the urge to do so, but we let life get in the way.  If we really valued this love letter, sealed in the blood of Jesus Christ, we would have a passion that cannot be denied to be in it with every second we could.  Instead, how many can raise their hand to say, “I often have to make myself read the Bible.”  (Or, my Bible is seldom cracked open, much less read.)                                                                                                       But God commendeth His love toward us….(Rom. 5:8)

Intentions    

We often have good intentions, especially after a particularly good sermon, after a revival, or after some other thing lights our fire for the Lord.  But it doesn’t take long for the flame to burn out.  We go back to not doing anything because we’re too ‘busy’, or we trudge along, dragging one foot after the other to do our ‘duty’.   We even want to do it sometimes, but habit takes over and relegates the love letter to the bottom of our ‘to do’ list.

The Helper – NOT!

One issue is lack of commitment.  Another is lack of discipline.  I’m sure there are many more, but there’s also the fact that the enemy, Satan, does NOT want you to read it.  He does not want you to stay close to the love of your life (yes, I mean God).  He is a deciever, but he’s a clever deceiver who makes the counterfit look really good.  One thing my dad always used to tell us when we couldn’t sleep:  “Pray, read the Bible, or witness to the Devil, you’ll be asleep before you know it.”  Sadly, that is true.

Passive Christianity  

Christianity is not passive.  It is a vital relationship with God, and it requires sacrifice and work to maintain.  Just like marriage relationships, one must work at it.  In a passive marriage, the couple will drift slowly apart and wake up one day wondering what happened to the marriage.  It’s the same with our relationship with God.  He gave us a passionate, detailed love letter for us to read while He’s “away”.   What would you think if you gave your sweetie a love letter and he/she just said, “Oh, that’s nice,” and tossed it in a drawer unread?  Passive Christianity is not Christianity at all.

Passionate Christianity

Instead of passive Christianity, it is imperitive that we move to passionate Christianity.  Treat the Scripture like the valuable love-letter it is.  Seek to get as close to God as you possibly can and then put things in place that will help you get there.   It will require discipline; it will require sacrifice; it will require an intentional life, given over to your Love.   Remember back to the first time you fell in love?  You wanted to be with the person all the time.  If you couldn’t be with them, you were together on the phone.  Love letters were cherished and read and reread and put in a special place.  The pulse skyrocketed when he/she came in sight.  You get the picture.  If this is not your relationship with God, it’s time to get that love letter out, caress it, read it, study it, reread it, memorize it, treat it like the priceless treasure it is.

Are you passionate about God and the things of God?

Are you passionate about your Scripture reading/study/etc., giving it top priority instead of letting it collect dust all week?

Do you want to please Him or do you just do the minimum requirements to call yourself a Christian? 

What are some steps you can take to go from passive Christian to passionate soul-mate of almighty God?

Was there a time when you had more passion for the things of God than you do now?  What happened?

Starvin’ Marvin’

Have you ever wondered why we fall into the same old patterns of behavior – even tough we don’t want to and are determined not to?  The previous post gives us part of the answer – feeding the “flesh” makes it grow in its ability to control you.   The other part of the answer is to not just stop feeding, we also have to take an active role in starving it.

Garbage In

One of the first ways we starve our flesh is by stopping the inflow of garbage that comes in through our eyes and ears.  That movie that tempts you to look at porn or fantasize about someone other than the spouse, that song that spews foul words,  that game that causes us to spend too much time away from our loved ones or yelling at them to get out of the way or be quiet, that computer site that also eats our time and adds its own temptations.

What makes it garbage?

All of the above and more are not inherently bad things.  There are good movies, songs, video games, books, magazines, plays, television shows, etc., that are not garbage, but cause us to neglect more important things.  Maybe one thing is not your area of temptation and has no effect on you, but stymies your brother.  The important thing is too look objectively at the things we allow into our lives from the aspect of it’s content and what it does or does not cause us to do or not do.  Some things are automatically on this list from a biblical perspective, but others depend on how you use them.

Good better best.

An old saying my Mother used to use says,  “Good, better, best, put it to the test, till your good is better and your better is best.”  Some things are not wrong in and of themselves, but often we spend too much time on the good and miss out on the best.  If your time would be better spent on something else, this item needs to go on your garbage list.

Garbage out, now what?

It’s not enough just to take out the bad or stop putting garbage in. We must also start putting in the good if we want to conquer the flesh.  There’s a saying that talks about nature abhoring a vacuum.  That works here too.  If you leave an empty space, your enemy will soon find a way to fill it.  So along with taking out the garbage and cleaning house, we must bring good things into our ‘house’ to replace those bad things we threw out.

It works for all

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Philippians 4:8

If you are one of my non-Christian readers, this concept will help you as well, although the power of the Holy Spirit in the committed Christian goes a long way toward fighting fleshly desires.  The point is that replacing that garbage with beautiful furnishings of things that are just, pure, true, honest, good, and worthy of praise, helps keep that old garbage from creeping back in over time.

Discovering the counterfeit

Bank/treasury works learn to spot counterfeit money by handling real money so much that they instantly recognize a counterfeit when it passes through their hands.  Deciding what is “garbage” and what is lovely works in the same way.  We have to become so familiar with the good, with the things of God, that we instantly know when we are being fed garbage.  The enemy is very good at making the counterfeit so much like the real that many people have no idea they are eating the garbage.  But the more time you spend doing/hearing/seeing the good things, the God things, the more likely you will be able to make that distinction as you seek to starve out that fleshly nature.

You knew this was coming

Some of the things we can do, besides following the above verse, are listed below.

Using all the items at hand to keep from feeding the flesh and start starving it will help you in your walk with Christ or your search to eliminate those bad habits or sins that so easly beset us.   It may will take a lifetime, but it is worth the pursuit of purity.  Expect that the flesh will not go down easily, however, and watch out for his tactics.

Can you think of other ‘weapons’ you can use to starve the flesh?

Do you have a story of how you have (God has) defeated the flesh?

Does anything work better for you than another?

Do your intentions get in the way of your follow through?

Make no provision

In continuing our discussion on ‘making no provision for the flesh’, I want to share a cartoon I created for my Sunday School Class about not feeding the flesh.   The first page shows you.

The second page shows ‘the flesh’, our sin nature, our temptations to do wrong…

Page 3 shows our condition.  We are bound by our fleshly desires.

Page 4 shows what happens when we ask Christ into our life.

Page 5 lets us know that that carnal nature is still very present.

Page 6 shows us that we need to fight against that nature.  Paul said “the things I want to do, I don’t do and the things I don’t want to do, I do” (Paraphrase by Angie).  It’s the same with us.  We will fight this our entire lives.

Page 7 shows how we feed these fleshly desires by giving in to them, putting ourselves in a position to give in to them, and by ‘making provision’ for them.

Page 8 shows what happens when we ‘feed’ the flesh.

Page 9 shows what happens when we starve the flesh instead.

Apologies if you have to increase your screen size (Ctrl +) to read the cartoons.

All pictures drawn/created by Angela Masters Young C 2011  [with the exception of clipart on page 7 – food]